Reference? Can I Get a Reference, Please?

It bothers me that novelists occasionally will quote other writers without indicating where the quotation comes from. I'm not talking about quotations that preceed text necessarily, although it's nice to have sources for those as well, rather I'm talking about quotations appearing within the text. (Stephen King is very good about identifying his liftings, I've noticed.)

I mean nothing against Jan Karon, mind you, but here is an example from A Light in the Window that I asked my mother to find for me over the weekend:

"We are not necessarily doubting," said C.S. Lewis, "that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."
(240)

I really like this quote, but haven't read the book it was taken from. Is this from The Problem of Pain?

While I'm thinking about it, I thought it funny/odd/sinister that there is a character on Lost this season named Charlotte Staples Lewis.

Parker Eating An Apple

...which means lots of little apple bits to sweep up off my floor.

Freedom and Care

For which am I more responsible:
Doing what I believe is right by exercising my own freedom in Christ, or
Being sensitive to other's weaknesses?
I think the answer will be different depending on the context. What's your guideline? When does one outweigh the other?

I notice that on my friend Jim's blog he often raises questions that he already has developed some sort of answer to. Must come from being a philosopher. I, on the other hand, do not have an answer, just vague ponderings.

Everybody's Free (to Wear Sunscreen)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfq_A8nXMsQ

This was my first encounter with anything by Baz Luhrmann. It was played on the radio a lot in 1998, so during my Sophomore year of college, though don't quote me on that. The highlight of this track is the text, in the form of a commencement address that was anecdotally mis-attributed to Kurt Vonnegut, Jr. I thought it was wonderful at the time, and while I don't completely subscribe to every bit of advice that is offered, I still think it is wonderful. I remember being very impressed that such a message was being carried over commercial radio.

I'd never seen the video before this morning, so I can't vouch for all of its images. There are a few sexual images, but nothing more offensive than the Dove body wash commercials I've been seeing on television lately.

This song won my loyalty as a Baz Luhrmann fan.

Introducing *Strictly Ballroom*

Strictly Ballroom is one of my favorite movies. It's the first movie in what has come to be known as Baz Luhrmann's Red Curtain trilogy, which also includes William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet, and Moulin Rouge. The movie started as a play that I think Baz and his friends wrote and performed while in college. It took a little while for me to win Michael over, but once he was won, he was won.

It is romantic, but as far as the storyline goes it is very conventional. It doesn't take long to figure out what kind of movie it is, and romantically there are no surprises. It is a light romance in that, while love is not treated as something trivial, there is no promise at the end that certain characters are destined to marry, though that is quite possible. There does seem to be a promise at the end that certain characters are going to stay married, which is one of my favorite things about the movie. The romance isn't the point.

Other than the storyline, I don't think that anything else about the movie is conventional. It is highly theatrical, and as its title would imply, involves a lot of dancing. If you know much about dancing yourself, you will quickly realize that most of the dancing is entirely made up for comic effect. If I remember correctly, only two of the actors in the film are real, true-to-life dancers.

Expect comedy (sometimes in the form of melodrama), expect wild costumes and make-up, and expect Australian actors. As I said, this is one of my favorite films.

The Giving and Withholding of Grace, Part II

The first part of this story left me in tears on the pavement outside of Wal-mart, and angry because of the unprofessional behavior that had brought me to this point. I wanted to call the insurance adjuster and tell him how mad I was. I wanted him to know that his choice to call me back so late in the day had left a family stranded for the weekend.

This was my thought process:

I shouldn't call this guy while I'm angry. If I don't call this guy he won't know what an inconsiderate mistake he's made; he won't know that he shouldn't have called me only fifteen minutes before leaving the office. He might not realize what he's done to me, and surely will I seethe in frustration for the next three days if I don't get this out of my system now. I might lose steam and not be able to complain if I don't do this right now.

So I called and left a message on his voice mail. I stood up for myself. I told him, in the message, that he had handled this situation very poorly and that he had left us in a very sorry position.

When he called me back Monday morning he was nothing but professional. I don't even know if he heard the message I had left him that Friday afternoon.

We were not, in fact, left without a car. One was provided for us on Saturday even though the insurance company didn't move on it until the following Monday evening/ Tuesday. I spent a lot of time worrying that the insurance company never would step in and that their client would be out the money she was willing to spend to see us in a rental car. I thought about all the reasons and excuses that might explain why the insurance adjuster didn't call me in a timely manner.

The entire encounter made me think about the grace that we can potentially extend to those around us. Perhaps the insurance adjuster needed some harsh truth spoken in his life. On the other hand, perhaps I should have extended grace to him by choosing to speak gently instead of in anger. There's really no way for me to know. I feel this tension between defending and/or protecting myself and Jesus's command to love your neighbor as yourself. It might do me good to go back and review what Dr. Allender has to say about love in response to real harm.

God was gracious to us in the midst of this accident, though it takes a while to remove myself enough to acknowledge it. So many different things could have happened. The individual who hit me could have been hostile, or too young to care about what happened to us. It could, theoretically, have been another hit and run, which is something I have experienced before. We could have been hurt, or the insurance company could have tried to force us to do something with our car that we wouldn't have wanted to do. None of these things were true. Parker was little more than nudged in his car seat, and the other driver cared very much about our wellbeing. My five year driving record is no longer pristine, but how much does that really matter?

Wouldn't it be nice if we knew how to be as gracious as Jesus is, and were close enough to him to know when to modify that grace with hardness?

Our minor collision gave me something else to write and think about.

Apathy, and My Question of the Day

I promised you the rest of the story today, but find that I'm not in the mood. Does lack of sleep always lead to apathy?

Several questions came to me in the night that I was going to pose, but I don't even remember what they were. Oh, yes, I just remembered one of them:

At what age did you let your children climb on the playground equipment and go down the slide entirely on their own? Did you let them start small and work their way up? How did they get the training they needed to do such an independent thing?

The Giving and Withholding of Grace, Part I

The Insurance Adjust let me down in a big way on the Friday before my birthday.

Parker and I had been involved in a minor traffic accident early that Friday morning, and our car had been towed away to a Collision Center to undergo minor (and I mean very minor) repairs. The car had to be towed only because it's tire (or tyre, in some of the literature I've been reading lately) had been blown out, and because towing is what the insurance company recommended. The accident happened around 8:15 a.m.

My friend explained to the insurance company that this was our only vehicle, so we were told that we'd be contacted about a rental sometime that afternoon.

Parker had been suffering from a cold that wasn't getting any better, so I finally called the pediatrician's office that morning to get him a prescription for medicine. I turned the ringer back on my phone because I was concerned that I might miss that all important call from the insurance company. No call from the insurance company came.

My mother brought me her car so that I could get Parker's medicine. I took my cell phone with me so that I wouldn't miss that call. I stood in line at Wal-mart to do the preliminary work since I had not picked up a prescription there before.

As I moved toward the front of the store, my cell phone alerted me that I had missed a call. It was the insurance adjuster. "Please call me back. I'll be leaving the office in about fifteen minutes, so if I don't speak with you by then, I'll talk to you early Monday morning," his message told me. The message had been left twenty minutes ago.

I rushed outside to get a signal. The entrance attendant was standing near the doors making sure that the designated entrances and exits were observed. This never happens at Wal-mart, and it slowed me down.

I crouched outside near the soda machines to return the insurance adjuster's call. "Please if you get this message call me back! I've been standing in line waiting to get medicine for my sick child and I really need a car to drive this weekend. Please call me back."

But I was so upset. Why did this guy wait until the end of the day to call me? Why couldn't I talk with someone who could tell me what to do? How were we going to get around all weekend without a vehicle? Happy Birthday to me.

I'll give you the rest of the story, including the actual point of the story during normal waking hours in the Fox household.

Reviewing What I Wrote While Under the Influence of the Last Bottle of Wine I'll Probably Buy for a While

It is now 4:30 in the morning and I am reading all this over again because I can't go back to sleep. I notice I got a little melodramatic there near the end. These are not high and lofty things. These are every day, work day truths.

When I encounter individuals moving through my world, they become members of my life. These individuals impact me for good or for ill--rarely do I come across anyone whose effect is purely neutral--and of course the same is true of the effect I have on them. It's like the interaction between me and the plants I do or do not water. When I give them water, they have the opportunity to grow. When I do not give them water, in most cases I not only deny them the opportunity to grow, but I actually deny them the opportunity to go on living in good health.

I'm mentally floating around an idea here that is very difficult clearly to describe. The impact individuals in my life have on me is subtle--sometimes it is purely internal, and can easily go unnoticed by anyone but God. They adjust my attitudes in simple ways, they widen my awareness.

What all of this should lead me to is the knowledge that I must bathe my every day, moment, action and interaction in prayer and in scripture. It would be so nice if I could figure out exactly what this would look like. Prayer is an activity I probably misunderstand, misuse, and too often neglect.

Let's see what other kind of intellectual morass I can get myself into at 4:45 in the morning.

How Much Does It Mean to Know That Others Care?

A woman of my acquaintance asked me how I was this morning. She was in fact interested in knowing whether or not I had recovered from my illness of the week before. I cannot tell you how nice it was to know that someone in the world, other than my family, was interested in my recovery from sickness. This meant the world to me and I realized what a difference it makes when you let others know when you are ill. One friend brought me food; another asked me how I was--both events made me feel as though I were loved. While I have been loved before, I must admit that this form of community is a new experience for me. A dear friend once brought me a snack while I labored under an undergraduate deadline; I begin to understand what that variety of care feels like once again.

Relationships: I Become More and More Convinced That They Are the Most Important Things

This morning in church I realized that, if I want to have relationships, I shall have to pursue them. I also noted that relationships are important to me. I want to become more aware of the ways in which people are brought into my life. I want to be more purposeful in the way that I pursue them. This point was carried home within the context of the Bible study I attended just this evening.

I figure that the moment I acknowledge an individual's presence in my life, I should see this as a sign that the Holy Spirit desires to act through me in some way. After all, my acquaintances fall under my sphere of influence as Stephen Covey would describe things.

I had a gift to take to a young woman in my church who recently had had a baby. As I contemplated my desire to visit her in the hospital, I became aware that I was acquainted with a nurse who worked delivery, and that she herself would be expecting her own baby at any time. This nurse had been a classmate of mine in high school. She and I were never close, in fact we were not even friends, but my feeling toward her had changed since Parker came into my world. Parker has changed all sorts of things, which is part and parcel of his status as a gift from God. I had a gift to give to her as well.

I wrote this nurse a card in which I told her that if she ever needed to talk she could phone me. I told her that complaints were welcome, as I know from my own experience that sometimes you simply need someone to talk to when times are hard. Sometimes you need someone to whine to other than your husband. I was fortunate in that I had such a friend, after Parker was born, and I have long desired to continue to be such a friend to others who are in need. Unfortunately you only rarely come across anyone who will take you up on such an offer. I myself am guilty of ignoring the offers of those who have reached out to me. Perhaps I should contact these saints and beg of them their forgiveness.

Perhaps I shall as I become more and more convicted of these things. But it is late.

More Champagne

It seems that the only alcohol I can afford is Champagne. I thought I'd buy another bottle since I had some birthday money to spend, and I found that of all the vintages I can obtain at Wal-mart, Cook's Champagne is the cheapest. I think I've mentioned before that under normal circumstances I have a hard time justifying the expense. So now I wonder, what is the difference between Cook's Brut, and Cook's Extra Dry? Can anybody tell me what these distinctions mean?

My #1 Reason Why 30 Rock is Worth Watching

When I saw the ads late last year I thought, I'm never going to watch a primetime television show starring Alec Baldwin. Then my brother Daniel said it was good, said that if I liked The Office, I'd like 30 Rock, I saw Tina Fey probably for the first time ever, and I was hooked.

Here's why 30 Rock is worth watching; it's because of lines like this:

Tracy Jordan (as stereotypical black male star, including entourage. Tracy has just discovered that he isn't actually the best Halo player ever): Grizz, if Kenneth can beat me and you can beat Kenneth, then by the transitive property, you should be able to beat me too!

The implication is that Grizz hasn't been playing fairly.

Here's another example. Realize, I'm transcribing these lines from memory, so they're probably less than perfect.

Jena (overweight female comedy star, trying to save her career by losing weight): Tell me about my crazy surgical options.

Dr. Spaceman (his name is pronounced as though it were Italian, spa-che'-maen): Well, Jena, there are some wonderful crazy surgical options available to you. How about Crystal Meth--(something something something. He holds up a brochure with the words "You do the Meth" printed on the front). How important is teeth retention to you?

Jena: Somewhat important (she responds slowly).

This is truly funny stuff. Sometimes the politico-religious satire is too dead-on.

Tracy Jordan: What's your religion, Liz Lemon?

Lemon: I pretty much do whatever Oprah tells me.

Does Diaper Changing Violate Some Sort of Ancient Patriarchal Ideal?

I just finished reading The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency by Alexander McCall Smith. I think it is interesting that while I greatly enjoyed his 44 Scotland Street Series, I haven't particularly liked any of his other books that I have read. I wonder why this is?

I'm not saying The No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency wasn't good. It was. And I probably will continue to read books in this series. However I found early in the book that I fundamentally objected to a white man writing in the first person as an Botswanian woman, no matter how much time said gentleman has spent living in Africa. I think this is probably an unjust objection, but there it is. I also have a problem with the continual shifting of perspective that takes place within the book. McCall Smith writes both in the first person, as many different characters, and in the omniscient voice throughout the text, as he did in 44 Scotland Street, but here I find this troubling, whereas in the former I did not. I think that I am just being really, really picky here.

I found the following amusing. At one point near the end of the text a character reflects on his disengagement from the new ways of doing things. "Some women actually expect their husbands to change their babies nappies," he considers, with great discomfort. I am very happy to say that my husband has never, ever complained about having to change Parker's diapers, which he has done on numerous occasions. What a good man he is, too.

Hard to Shop With An Almost Year and a Half Old (Gasp!) Parker

We took Parker with us to the mall (to get Michael's hair cut) and to Target this afternoon. The outing didn't go quite as well as I would have preferred. Now that Parker is able to walk he is unsatisfied with sitting in the buggy or stroller. He wants to head out on his own, and of course such a thing cannot be allowed.

This makes my life just a bit more difficult in that I have to find time to do the necessary shopping when Parker and I are not alone together. The ideal situation would see Parker running around the store chased by a caretaker, while I took care of business. Unfortunately this is not a very practical idea.