The first part of this story left me in tears on the pavement outside of Wal-mart, and angry because of the unprofessional behavior that had brought me to this point. I wanted to call the insurance adjuster and tell him how mad I was. I wanted him to know that his choice to call me back so late in the day had left a family stranded for the weekend.
This was my thought process:
I shouldn't call this guy while I'm angry. If I don't call this guy he won't know what an inconsiderate mistake he's made; he won't know that he shouldn't have called me only fifteen minutes before leaving the office. He might not realize what he's done to me, and surely will I seethe in frustration for the next three days if I don't get this out of my system now. I might lose steam and not be able to complain if I don't do this right now.
So I called and left a message on his voice mail. I stood up for myself. I told him, in the message, that he had handled this situation very poorly and that he had left us in a very sorry position.
When he called me back Monday morning he was nothing but professional. I don't even know if he heard the message I had left him that Friday afternoon.
We were not, in fact, left without a car. One was provided for us on Saturday even though the insurance company didn't move on it until the following Monday evening/ Tuesday. I spent a lot of time worrying that the insurance company never would step in and that their client would be out the money she was willing to spend to see us in a rental car. I thought about all the reasons and excuses that might explain why the insurance adjuster didn't call me in a timely manner.
The entire encounter made me think about the grace that we can potentially extend to those around us. Perhaps the insurance adjuster needed some harsh truth spoken in his life. On the other hand, perhaps I should have extended grace to him by choosing to speak gently instead of in anger. There's really no way for me to know. I feel this tension between defending and/or protecting myself and Jesus's command to love your neighbor as yourself. It might do me good to go back and review what Dr. Allender has to say about love in response to real harm.
God was gracious to us in the midst of this accident, though it takes a while to remove myself enough to acknowledge it. So many different things could have happened. The individual who hit me could have been hostile, or too young to care about what happened to us. It could, theoretically, have been another hit and run, which is something I have experienced before. We could have been hurt, or the insurance company could have tried to force us to do something with our car that we wouldn't have wanted to do. None of these things were true. Parker was little more than nudged in his car seat, and the other driver cared very much about our wellbeing. My five year driving record is no longer pristine, but how much does that really matter?
Wouldn't it be nice if we knew how to be as gracious as Jesus is, and were close enough to him to know when to modify that grace with hardness?
Our minor collision gave me something else to write and think about.
2 comments:
After re-reading what I said, I didn't like the way I said it, so I'm trying again.
I agree that a HUGE part of loving others is "saying the hard word." Love is certainly NOT confined to only saying and doing whatever the other person wants. But, knowing when someone needs that "hard word" requires a certain level of intimacy with that person (and a certain detachment from our own agenda). Absent an undoubtable, specific revelation by the Holy Spirit, I don't think we are capable of giving an appropriate "hard word" to strangers.
It might help you to feel compassion for the insurance adjuster for me to remind you that a large part of their jobs is to deal with lawyers. :-)
I don't have much love for insurance adjusters, as a rule, but many are unbelievably overloaded. It could very well have been that the guy called you at his very earliest opportunity, because up until that moment he was busy doing the very thing you wanted him to be doing---only he was doing it for 500 other people.
I do not say this to criticize your being mad at the situation, but to point out that your anger may have been misdirected. The fault could be with the insurance company managers who don't want to spend the money on hiring a few more adjusters so they can each have a manageable workload.
Post a Comment