The Long Goodbye...No more room in my life for new shows

I know this sounds funny, because I really do enjoy television, but I'd be glad if several of the television shows I've been watching over the past four years would be canceled.  Relieved even.  When I get on Hulu and look at my queue these days I feel oppressed by the accumulation.  The one show I don't want to be canceled I feel quite sure will be: Haven.  Hulu and Syfy have recently put the show on a 30 day schedule, which means that new episodes won't be made available for streaming until 30 days after they have aired.  The only television show I've watched on the air in a long while is Lost, so you'll understand why this might be difficult for me.  At least the end is in sight.  Soon I will be completely free of broadcast tv as other things in our lives become so much more important.  Can't I give it up easily?  No, as a matter of fact, I can't.  But perhaps I will get to go another three or more years without watching any tv, before the deathly cycle starts all over again.  Then movies will be the thing once more.  There's nothing to be done except to wait and see.

TV ruminations

I think about so many things, on a daily basis, but when I get on here and start to write, it all sort of drifts away, and all I can think of is the silly thing I thought about posting on facebook, as follows:

I considered skipping Desperate Housewives this season, but then I got on Hulu and saw the first five minutes of the season premiere and realized that I LOVE Eva Longoria Parker as Gabby.  I cannot miss her, and I really don't quite know why.  I think it may be because she is Latina.  And because of her profile (the balance of her eyes, nose and chin, because even if I can't analyze them, I recognize these things), and the sound of her voice.  And her character is likeable, even if rather shallow.  And I like her, even though I'm not a girly girl, I really like Gabby.  Wierd.

And then I remembered where I'd seen Mae Whitman before.  I just looked her up on my favorite website, IMDB.com, to confirm.  She was on Arrested Devlopment as George-Michael's grilfriend, Ann Viel, in the two seasons following the first.  I thought of her because there was an episode where she was throwing rotten fruit at the home of Marc Cherry, and because I've been watching Parenthood too.  Yes, I watch these shows, and no, I'm not proud of it.

And of course Mae Whitman made me think of Portia de Rossi, and a character named Rob Loblaw (try saying it ten times fast), and this is an example of how the human mind works, especially the human mind that has spent the past five years watching mass quantities of tv.  Is internet television a blessing or a curse?  You tell me.  I have, in fact, become very good at saying Rob Loblaw ten times  fast, but only because of diligent practice.

Computers, video streaming, etc.

We bought a new laptop computer, and Michael and I have traded so that I am now using the new Dell laptop, while he has taken over the less new Acer.  This seems to work out well for the both of us as he needs the wider screen for web design, and I need the better speakers for what I do, watch a lot of tv.  Actually I have less time for tv lately, which is a good thing. 

I like the smaller screen, smaller keypad, and lighter weight of the Dell, which makes it ever the slightly more portable.  I might take this one with me to the coffee shop, if I ever decided it was worthwhile to write there. I like that it doesn't have any crud under the buttons yet.  And I like that it's cover is blue.  It helps too, since we now need an additional laptop, we already own this one.

Michael bought the Dell laptop almost by mistake.  We were trying to decide whether or not to send it back, when the window of opportunity for that possibility closed.  We thought about selling it on ebay. Now we have a reason to keep it. 

[Parker is momentarily standing in the hallway at 9:15 p.m. trying to convince Michael that he couldn't possibly sleep in his own room tonight.  It would be cuter if he hadn't already been in bed for over an hour and a half.]

As far as the television is concerned, I am practically run over now that the networks have picked up their Fall seasons.  The ability to time-shift viewing patterns is wonderful.  The way the interesting television shows begin to pile up in my Hulu queue is less wonderful.  Because I'm one of those people who actually like television.  Not everyone who watches it does, you know.  Not only do I like it, but I am also usually (if not always) an active viewer of television.  I like movies too.  My mom points out that I don't have to watch them, but don't I?  Is it enough to pretend that I won't pick up any new ones?  Who am I kidding?

Pictures of Parker From Before Our Yard Was Destroyed

It's kind of funny, tonight we saw the episode of Little House on the Prairie where Laura and Almanzo lose everything but the baby. Almonzo get dyptheria, their crops are destroyed, their house is destroyed in a tornado, and Almonzo loses the use of one side of his body. It's the first episode I saw last year, which is what got me interested in seeing the entire series. This episode makes me feel better about the damage to our back yard. At least we don't have any debts against it.

Talented Actors With Actual Lives

Parker keeps pulling out these Farscape DVDs, probably because he likes the colors on the DVD covers. We put them in the player, we watch about five minutes of advance footage, make our way to the opening credits, and then he hits the eject button and we must start all over again. He doesn't want to watch Farscape; he really only wants to play with the DVD player. Or at least that's all I can figure.

I saw a part of an episode tonight in which Ben Browder's wife, Francesca Buller appears. Ben Browder is the star of Farscape, in case you didn't know. His wife appears in several episodes, playing different diminutive characters more often than not, and always in heavy makeup and prosthetics. So I'm dying to know what she looks like in real life.

I appreciate the fact that there aren't any pictures of her on imdb, except for one small one in which she appears with her husband. I appreciate that their two children are unnamed to the press. I think that shows great sense and discretion. I can see that she is lovely and petite, and more importantly, she is a fine actress. Browder is an excellent actor as well, at least in his role as John Crichton. We've seen him once on an incarnation of Stargate, a show which we do not watch. Unfortunately we were unimpressed with what we saw there.

Daytime Soap Opera, Nighttime Soap Opera; links

I'm still watching Buffy on this beautiful Saturday afternoon, and I just made the following connection (and believe me, I'm embarrassed that I know this, but why not share it with you anyway):

All My Children on ABC. There is a character named Kendall, who is Erica Kane's daughter, and who had a baby on the show two years ago who she named Spike.

Rewind several years.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Fox, back when Fox was still an antennae receivable network. Sarah Michelle Gellar plays Buffy. One of her major enemies on the show is named Spike.

Rewind several more years.

Sarah Michelle Gellar originally played Kendall on All My Children. Maybe this explains why Kendall chose such a bizarre name for her baby.

Joss Whedon and Literature

Some of you know that I've been watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer on-line recently. I'm watching Buffy because 1) it suddenly became available to me, 2) I just about adore Joss Whedon, especially his series Firefly, and 3) I've always had a thing for vampire stories. This last reveals a deep seated interest in evil, which is related to an overwhelming sense of gratitude when I consider what dark possibilities I have been rescued from. Anyway, back to the point of the post.

It struck me as I watched the first season's finale how much Buffy's character resembles Mina Harker of Bram Stoker's novel. Here's why. In Bram Stoker's novel, Mina is surrounded by men who love her, who would do anything to rescue her from the evil for which she has become prey. It is a sacrificial love, not merely a romantic one as defined by our contemporary culture (though sacrifice is certainly a romantic ideal). The scene that brought on the comparison?

Angel: Are you in love with her?

Xander: Aren't you?

Okay, to give you a bit of context, these two men who love Buffy are underground, rushing to the scene of potential torment to save her, though we know going in that Buffy herself will do the bulk of the saving. They both certainly have romantic feelings for the girl, but I interpret these two lines rhetorically rather than literally. It is as though Xander were saying, you and I know her, therefore we have no choice but to love her. The same would seem to have been true of Mina Harker.

from "Justice is Blind"

I've been watching the first season of Arrested Development for the past few days on hulu.com. Don't you just love that scene where Michael and George Michael (his son) are both hiding out behind the Ten Commandments in front of the courthouse? As the statue of the Ten Commandments is hoisted above their heads by the crane that is towing it away and they discuss their separate dilemmas ("It's so hard to know what to do"), Michael says:

Wouldn't it be nice if there were a set of rules, you know? Something handed down from on high that would tell us what to do?

Curious Forms

While I'm not interested enough at this point to do the research myself, I wonder if any of you can enlighten me concerning this:

A friend loaned me a murder mystery by a British author in which the word "orientate" was used several times. I complained about this at the time. This morning I saw an episode of an old British televsion show called Waiting for God, which is about retirees living in a retirement home, and the "orientate" form was used there as well. Is this a distinctly British usage, or, if you're a linguist, is it something even more particular than that?

My #1 Reason Why 30 Rock is Worth Watching

When I saw the ads late last year I thought, I'm never going to watch a primetime television show starring Alec Baldwin. Then my brother Daniel said it was good, said that if I liked The Office, I'd like 30 Rock, I saw Tina Fey probably for the first time ever, and I was hooked.

Here's why 30 Rock is worth watching; it's because of lines like this:

Tracy Jordan (as stereotypical black male star, including entourage. Tracy has just discovered that he isn't actually the best Halo player ever): Grizz, if Kenneth can beat me and you can beat Kenneth, then by the transitive property, you should be able to beat me too!

The implication is that Grizz hasn't been playing fairly.

Here's another example. Realize, I'm transcribing these lines from memory, so they're probably less than perfect.

Jena (overweight female comedy star, trying to save her career by losing weight): Tell me about my crazy surgical options.

Dr. Spaceman (his name is pronounced as though it were Italian, spa-che'-maen): Well, Jena, there are some wonderful crazy surgical options available to you. How about Crystal Meth--(something something something. He holds up a brochure with the words "You do the Meth" printed on the front). How important is teeth retention to you?

Jena: Somewhat important (she responds slowly).

This is truly funny stuff. Sometimes the politico-religious satire is too dead-on.

Tracy Jordan: What's your religion, Liz Lemon?

Lemon: I pretty much do whatever Oprah tells me.

Warning concerning *Little House on the Prairie*

Warning: This show (Little House on the Prairie) is not for worriers, or people who don't like high levels of stress in their television. The episodes always end well (ultimately, philosophically), but they certainly don't usually end happily.

We saw the first part of a two part episode this evening about which I commented: I can hardly believe we watched this voluntarily. It was difficult. I'm going to drive Jim crazy by not telling what it was about because I don't want to get you down.

A final thought: I read somewhere that the last season (Season 9) is darker than previous seasons. As yet I am wondering how it could get any darker. I guess when we get to season 9 we'll find out.

Coffee Questions

How would one make coffee out of burnt toast (See Dillard post below)?

On Little House on the Prairie Caroline often offers to make coffee for Charles. What do you imagine this is that Charles drinks every night after supper? What I'm really asking is how was coffee prepared in the years immediately following the Civil War.

While I'm asking questions, do you think it would traumatize Parker if his mother got a shorter haircut after 15 months of seeing it long?

Right now I'd rather be reading or catching up on Lost while the first three seasons are posted on the network's website. Not very conducive to writing projects, I'm afraid. Meanwhile I have another project that I'm working on, so don't be surprised if you don't hear anything out of me for several days.

Little House on the Prairie

We've made it to the beginning of Season 5 with Little House on the Prairie. Can you believe this show was on for a total of ten seasons? The event I had been dreading and waiting for occurred at the end of Season 4 (I won't mention what it was for those of you who don't already know) and because of the trouble between the Grangers and the Railroad we were compelled to start in on Season 5 with a vengeance. One thing that makes me very happy is that Mary is finally with a man who is worthy of her. Makes the boys she was previously involved with seem much too childish.

In some ways this seems an important lesson for girls who are now in college. It certainly would have been a good lesson for me had I been able to receive it. In youth we suffer painful losses in relationships that sometimes make us feel as though we've missed our chance at happiness. I realize it's only a television show, but when you compare the man Mary eventually does marry with the one she was once engaged to, it's obvious to me which one is better, which one God actually chose for her.

I want to take this idea further, say so much more, but instead I'm going to have to let it go. It's time for sleep.

Susanne Pleshette, Fran Drescher, Helen Hunt and the USDA Food Safety Guidelines

I've mentioned each of the actresses above because I have seen each of them handle raw meat, wipe their hands on a dishcloth, and go on about other business on their respective television shows. My question is this: how long have the USDA food safety guidelines been in place.

I am really paranoid about handling raw meat in my kitchen. I run hot sudsy water in my kitchen sink before handling the meat; I wash the dishes and wipe down the counters that the meat has touched as soon as possible; I run fresh sudsy water to wash any remaining dishes. Because I never feel as though I have taken quite enough precautions I find myself often praying over my kitchen, "Oh God, please protect my husband and my son from my poor attempts at housekeeping."

So do these actresses wipe their hands on dishclothes due to television convention, or are hand-washing recommendations a recent development? The number of ads both on television and the radio indicate to me that they may be. Obviously I haven't researched this.

The Bob Newhart Show

Last weekend I started watching The Bob Newhart Show through Netflix. You know the one, where Bob Newhart is a psychologist, newly married to a woman who looks just like Susanne Pleshette, and Marcia Wallace is his receptionist. I'm doing a bit of character/actor blending here. I had never actually seen the show before, and was thrilled to realize that Marcia Wallace does at least one of the voices on my dad's only favorite television show, The Simpsons. I wondered if Ms. Crabapple's figure may have been modeled on Marcia Wallace's.

With Marcia Wallace in mind, I took the DVD over to my parent's house on Sunday so that they could watch it too. Anna Grace was understandably shocked at some of the risque humor.

Long ago I noticed that Doris Day films tended to involve her character's engaging in a lot of questionable activity. And it seems that in some ways television of the 70's was much more sexually evocative than, for example, the more blatant sexual humor used on a show like Friends, even though it was suggestive rather than explicit. This is no new observation, I realize, but it does hit me anew from time to time. And if you consider the era in which these shows were written, it should come as no surprise.

I admit I am curious about the history of sexuality as portrayed on television.

The Bob Newhart Show brought up other questions for me. Do I really like British television so much, or is it just that I like shows that are old? Considering the wonderful literary adaptations the BBC has produced, and the degree to which I like British authors, I suppose it is safe to say that I like British television. But apparently I like old television as well. Perhaps the explanation is that the two were more similar in the past than they are today. One of the things I like about Bob Newhart, as opposed to simply Newhart, is some of the women's clothes, and the furnishings of the Hartley apartment.

The episodes of the show I saw over the weekend were very funny, and many of the characters were charming. I was distinctly uncomfortable, however, with the one where the receptionist considers moving in with her nearly divorced boyfriend, even though by the end of the show Bob had helped him realize that he needed to return to his wife.

Another Word Game

I once found a lampshade back when I was working the sales floor at Lighting Plus. The shade had a tag attached to it that read "One of a Kind." At the time I joked that in this instance "one of a kind" was code for "That's one ugly lampshade. Please take it off our hands." Fortunately this particular lampshade was perfect for a lamp I had sitting in my apartment, and together lamp and shade weren't at all ugly, so I bought it.

Then I thought about those words, "one of a kind," a bit more.

Interpreted literally, "one of a kind" should really mean that this is one lampshade of a particular kind. In other words, there are lots of lampshades just like this one, and this is only one example of the kind. I think of an episode of Rugrats wherein Chukkie, pretending to be an ice-cream 'man, asks Lil what kind of ice-cream she would like. Lil responds, in that cute little toddler voice, "I want all the kinds."

Of course in actual usage "one of a kind" means that an object is unique, that there are no other objects that are like it. Usually the words "one of a kind" are paired with "original." Or maybe I'm mistaken. In reality "one of a kind" may actually be short for "one of a kind original" in which case current usage begins to make more sense.

Sara Jessica Parker, she used to be everywhere

I threatened my husband last night. I said, "Next time someone asks, I'll tell them we named our son after Sara Jessica Parker, just to see what kind of reaction I get. Would that embarass you?"

He paused, with Ms. Parker of The Pretender in mind, as played by the actress Andrea Parker. "We named him after the character, not the actress." He then stopped himself as he realized to whom I was referring. I don't know what expression came over his face at this point, nor do I know what he actually said (because I was driving at the time), but it ended with, "NOOOOOooooo! That would more than embarass me."

I had gotten my reaction.

The truth is that Parker is named after Charlie Parker, also known as "Bird," or "Yard Bird," the great bebop saxophonist who Michael enjoys so much. I think that Parker likes him too, although those are not the CDs he pulls from the shelves when let loose inside our bedroom. Poor little one can't read, you know, and all those musicians probably look alike to him besides.

We did NOT name our son after a fictional character. However, Ms. Parker is possibly my favorite female character in all of fiction. She is very tough, very mean, and absolutely gorgeous. Michael is obviously glad that I am not more like her.

Television Trivia

One of my favorite TV shows in Little House on the Prairie, which Michael and I have been watching on DVD over the last several months. I really didn't go in expecting to enjoy it as much as I have, but I have in fact loved it.

Did you know that the little boy who plays Willie Olsen, one of Laura Ingalls constant enemies, is in fact brother to Melissa Gilbert who plays Laura Ingalls herself? I thought that was pretty cool.

We're only in Season 3 right now, and are at a distinct disadvantage knowing what we do about Mary Ingalls. We keep expecting to see the episode in which it happens, and there are so many serious things that happen to Mary or the other children that we are kept in constant suspense.

British Television, My Favorite Genre

I love British television. Back when I lived with my parents and was able to receive public television, I used to watch all of the Britcoms that came on Saturday Nights: Are You Being Served, Keeping Up Appearances, Red Dwarf.

One night at my parents house I caught the 1978 Royal Command Performance of a television series called The Good Life, released as Good Neighbors in the United States. I found it captivating. The show was about a suburban married couple who disavow the comfort and security of conventional employment and instead become "self-sufficient." The reality is that while they have become independent of utilities and grocery stores and the like, they remain very much dependant on the help and encouragement of their next door neighbors who remain in the usual world that is the antithesis of their own. Tom and Barbara Good, the title characters, were adorable as, in this particular episode, Tom Good tried to make provision for a retirement that loomed twenty or so years in the distance.

I found that Netflix had the complete series 1-3 available in their catalogue, and somehow convinced Michael to give the series a chance. I told him I wouldn't make him watch it with me, but he eventually saw enough episodes to agree that it was a worthwhile viewing experience. He occasionally quotes a line here and there to make me laugh. Netflix now has Series 4 available through their "Watch It Now" feature, which I was so pleased to discover a week or so ago. It includes that Royal Command Performance I mentioned, as well as the final episode of the series in which the Goods are vandalized, and tempted to give up until Barbara reminds Tom what a good, if difficult, life it is.

I love the support the characters give one another. The next door neighbors are very important in the show, but Barbara Good, played by Felicity Kendall, is absolutely adorable--she is the one who attracted me to the series in the first place. The show aired from 1975-1978, right around the time I was born.