Though I am not a student, I am working on a paper for a graduate level seminar. I won't get any sort of credit for writing the paper. What I will get is a grade of incomplete removed from my transcript, because not everybody reading this may know that I was once in graduate school, but dropped out. The letter "I" for "incomplete" has been in my transcript for almost five years. I've whined and complained about it for years, but I finally decided that I want it out.

What happened is this. Early in my second semester of graduate school, I admitted to my classmate, who was driving me to my car that night, that I had suffered from depression in the past, and wondered if I might be entering a downward turn again. I told her that I hoped should the need for medication arise I would recognize that fact this time, and get medical help more quickly than once I had so done before. Turns out I was wrong. I wasn't depressed; I was pregnant. Happy day.  First child. Never done it before.

I quickly discovered, to my chagrin, that I am one of those women who has difficulty writing when she is pregnant. It doesn't happen to every woman. I know one who finished a major project within days after giving birth, but I find I can't read or write when I'm with child. Makes it awfully hard to write a paper for a grade. I had three to do by the end of my first trimester. I finished two of them, but I'm not exaggerating when I say they were of little use to anybody.

Now, because I wish to pursue further study, I want to write a seminar paper for my former professor that's as good as it can be. That means a lot of reading, and a lot of writing.

In typing up some notes this afternoon, I wished that I could post them all to the blog. Maybe even get some feedback on them, because I think they're readable, I think I'm brilliant, and I think that I should share every little thing I do in writing. Some of you might even find them interesting. I missed my chance when I was in Fred's class, the class I am trying to make up. He required us to make a journal entry for every class. But as I said before, at the time I couldn't understand what I was reading and I couldn't write.

There is a host of reasons why I won't post my notes to the blog. Don't you worry yourself about that. In the meantime I will get back to work, and later I'll decide what writing a seminar paper will have to mean in terms of this blog.