I haven't run out of things to say. It's just that the things I want to say are too involved, there are too many stories, too many details to sort out, too many interconnections, in some ways too much guilt as I realized how self-centered is my intellectual work right now. It's hard for me to write right now because I cannot begin and end in one sitting, therefore I cannot find my way to begin.
There's a story about why I hate chocolate covered cherries, though I do not hate them any more. There is a story about growing and becoming, and how do you find your way into that one? There's a story about being saved that does not follow any tradition. There is anxiety about being different from my peers for so much of my life, though that percentage reduces itself as I age. Some of this stuff is personal, although I do not fear embarrassment. I have always accepted myself, though I haven't always expected anyone else to.
This post is a glimpse of things going on inside.
5 comments:
Oh, that was just mean. "Here are all of these stories I'm not telling you."
Jim, if I tell all of my stories then I really won't have anything else to say.
Shelly said.....
Does this mean anything to you Kelly?
I'm not sure which
is more scary,
living or dying,
in control or out,
striving or abiding,
doing or being,
surrender....
is it defeat?
alone
I don't feel needed, important
but there's a calm...
It does. Yours?
shelly says...
yeah, just a random journal entry... kind of a life journey....too bad there's no arrival point, which means the struggle is real and ongoing :)
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