Photos of the Babies

I haven't posted any photos in a while and the boys are constantly changing.  Here are just a couple.  I still can't figure out how photo formatting is supposed to work.

About Writing: The Painfully Practical

I used to journal a lot.  In college my journals were always handwritten, often on these pads of paper that were multi-colored, which I could get cheaply from the Dollar store.  Often these were angry or heart-broken letters about my boyfriend/ex-boyfriend, the same person over the course of several years.  Other times they were about what I wanted to do or be.  More often than that I think that these were prayers.  The point of all this sentimental history is that I used to hand write things A LOT.

This morning I decided to do another one of those ten minute freewriting sessions.  The first time I did this last night I started out on the computer.  The computer didn't work in my favor, however, because when I am typing I cannot keep myself for going back and correcting typos and other careless errors.  I find that I have to do this exercise with pen and paper. 

When you're freewriting according to Peter Elbow's method, you don't pause to edit, or search for spellings, or think ahead to what you are going to say next.  The exercise is about clearing the mind, intensifying focus, getting the words out there.  (Though you may not know it, I am paraphrasing the first chapter of Writing Without Teachers while simultaneously referencing an episode of Wonderfalls.  This just goes to show what I've been putting in my head lately.)

The problem now is that I am out of practice.  It's almost as though I've forgotten how to write things manually.  I pulled a bound journal off the shelf a couple of weeks ago and my hand got tired writing after about half a page.  When I do the Peter Elbow exercise my had gets really tired.  I wonder is the problem only that I'm out of practice or is there something else going on.  Could there be arthritis in my future?

I don't actually think so.  I think it really is a matter of finding the right pen, the right position, and getting back in the habit of handwriting things on a daily basis.  The lists I've been making for years, and the many envelopes I've addressed in the past three months haven't done the trick.  It's almost like I have to relearn how to write.

(I may need to relearn how to type as well, but that is another story.)

Exercises come in many different kinds

For the past several months I have become semi-absorbed by the need for formal exercise.  It's strange in a way because I never really cared about exercise before.  It was something I knew I needed, but it seemed more like a chore than an enjoyable past time.  I knew that exercise would give me more energy, which I sorely needed, but the idea held no appeal for me.   After Isaac was born things changed.

I'm thirty-two years old, and eleven months ago I had my second child.  Isaac was accidentally born naturally, which was a revelatory experience, but even though recovery from the process of delivery was easy, recovery from the process of carrying Isaac was not.  I don't mean to imply that carrying Isaac did any permanent damage to me medically, but aesthetically, and as I tried to transition back into my old clothes, some damage had been done. Suddenly I wanted to strengthen my abdominal muscles.  Suddenly I was not longer satisfied to feel worn out by the time Michael came home from work in the afternoon.  Suddenly I was not satisfied to become tired so quickly while chasing Parker around in the front yard.

Not long after Isaac was born I started trying to walk 30 minutes every day.  Often this walking would occur early in the morning as I had many waking hours accompanied by trouble sleeping.  Often this walking would occur right after Michael came home from work, while he and Parker started eating dinner without me.  It was much too inconvenient and difficult to schedule, so it didn't last long.

Months later I saw on Facebook that my friend Amy's usual walking partner was out of town and that she was looking for someone else to join her.  I saw this as an opportunity to get a few walks in and to spend some time with an adult friend, so with Michael's help I took advantage of the chance.  We started to walk twice a week around the quad, weather permitting, but there were often weeks at a time when the weather didn't permit.

My mom started receiving a subscription to Health Magazine which I immediately co-opted.  Though I suspect this magazine does not contain the highest quality healthy lifestyle information, I enjoy reading it, and through it I found a Pilates video I thought might work for me, which, by the way, it does.  Then I noticed while watching the first season of Desperate Housewives on Hulu (yes, it's mostly trash, but it's very diverting trash) that Gabby and Edie were often to be seen jogging, which started me thinking that maybe I could somehow build my walking up to a respectable run.

So now I'm on this track.  My routines are still very much a muddle, and I am currently undergoing a setback as I've somehow injured my back, but I'm definitely on a track.  It's different, it's exciting, but it also opens up for me some other possibilities.

I now can rake the front yard longer and more efficiently than I could before.  Sometimes now on a Saturday when I think it might be nice to take a walk, I actually do it.  Then I realized just today that I really can set a timer for ten minutes every day and get in some writing, publishable or not.  It's amazing what a little exercise can do.

Habit Formation: A Beginning

Marla Cilley of Flylady.com says it takes 28 days to establish a habit.  Though I've been reading her thoughts on the matter for years, I have never quite believed her.  How many times over the years have I done the exact same thing day after day, for a month or two (and sometimes more) only magically one day to stop: Scripture reading, taking a 30 minute walk before dinner, posting notes to my blog, taking a shower before bed, straightening the house for the morning, rocking Isaac in the living room following his first feeding of the day, taking a multi-vitamin after brushing my teeth?  Even after much repetition, not one of these things has formed a solid habit.  I was relieved then to read the other day on webmdhealth that "most of us go through relapse seven times before we change our behavior."  This makes sense to me, as does the notion that habit formation takes commitment.  You have to be willing to work through the relapse, and guilt hinders your ability to do so.


I would be interested, if anyone were willing to share, in reading about victories or failures you've experienced in this area of habit formation.  Any time I ask about such personal details, however, I am reminded of a script I heard months ago on "A Prairie Home Companion."

I'm a private eye. A proud profession that died a long time ago, kid. Back in the Age of Privacy, you had to work to find out stuff about people, follow them around, sneak up behind trees, plant microphones in cocktails. Now you can find it all out on Facebook.

Start and start and start again, and if I do it enough times maybe eventually it will stick

Wow, August 18 was the last time I posted anything.  You've got to wonder whether I have abandoned the effort entirely, like I've abandoned most of the housework this week, like I've abandoned my book club dream...except that you don't get to wonder about any of those things, because I've told you nothing (or next to nothing) about them.  I've gone so far as to change the name of my blog twice, but never far enough to write anything more than four lines long.


At this very moment, Parker is supposed to be napping, but isn't (he just started calling my name), and Isaac is crying because he doesn't care to take a nap today.  It's difficult to do anything under the circumstances that requires mindfulness or attention, and I'm surrounded by detritus, and that doesn't help.

I have five hobbies.  They are reading, writing, cross-stitch, exercise, and story viewing.  In most cases I can't do one and still find time for another.  Reading and exercise and viewing have recently taken up the majority of my free time.  I live in constant awareness that when I choose to spend my time on one thing I also choose not to spend my time on another.  Maybe someday after many trials, I will discover how to make it all work, but not today.