I have pictures I want to post through Picasa, but somehow the settings have been changed so that I can only access one of Michael's blogs and can't reach my own using the Blog This! function. Do any of you know how to fix this?
Hours later, Michael has deciphered the problem. I forgot that Internet Explorer was default, not Firefox, which is what I use when I do anything online. Since Michael and I often share a laptop, his profile was logged on in Explorer, thus the difficulty.
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
The Birth Story, in Gory Detail (though not too gory I hope)
Notice what I say in the title of this post about gory detail. I would hide the rest of the article for those who do not wish to read it, but I don't know how to do that.
Saturday morning Michael and I moved quantities of frozen food from a deep freeze out in Coaling to one at another friend's house less than a mile away. Saturday evening Michael picked up the crib that John and Linda are loaning us to use with Isaac.
Anna Grace went shopping with me earlier on Saturday afternoon. It was the first chance we'd had to do anything together in a while besides cookie making at Cori's house the Tuesday before. At one point I told her I thought I might be having a contraction, but it's always been hard for me to tell throughout this pregnancy because not only have the been painless, but they've been few and far between.
That evening I noticed a hemorrhoid had developed, and I thought, "Damn that Starbucks. Every time I go there with Anna this happens."
Someone from Michael's office had given us a gift certificate to Longhorn Steakhouse on Friday. It was a long shot, but I asked Anna Grace before church Sunday morning whether she and Ben would be willing to sit with Parker for us so that Michael and I could go out. Typically when family lunch at the Bishop's has been canceled, Ben and Anna will try to have lunch with members of the youth group or their shepherding group, but this day they set aside their normal plans to let us go out. It was so nice for the two of us to be out alone together, even if only for a little while. Rarely do we have the opportunity for a date.
Damon came over to watch Hancock Sunday afternoon and he and Michael put the crib together that evening. I had gotten the mattress from Cori just that Tuesday.
Sunday evening Michael asked me if I could read to Parker and put him to bed. He could tell by looking at me, however, that I was tired and didn't feel up to it, so offered to go ahead and do it instead. Parker then requested that mommy read to him, something he never does, so I got to read to my darling in the evening before going into labor that night.
Normally I cannot sleep until Michael comes to bed, which he often doesn't do until 10:30 or 11:00. This evening he came to bed at 11:00 after checking in on Parker, and that's when it started. Literally. Michael got into bed, and I hopped out, thinking that I had just experienced the final indignity of pregnancy, a total loss of bladder control.
Beware gory details: I seriously thought that I had lost bladder control. It didn't matter that there seemed to be much more fluid involved than this could explain. I didn't bother to turn on the light in the bathroom, because at night I rarely do. I grabbed a sanitary napkin and tried to go back to bed. When I returned to the bathroom only moments later I noticed the napkin had turned pink, but I thought that was what it did when it got wet, having never used this particular brand before.
Then I became aware of the contractions. They were close, and they hurt, but I wanted to time them to be sure. I didn't want to be one of those women who goes into the hospital on a false alarm. We waited probably 45 minutes before even calling the hospital.
When Dr. Emig asked me if I'd had any unusual discharge I said I didn't think so. I didn't realize that what I was experiencing had anything to do with amniotic fluid.
Dr. Edwards had checked me the Wednesday before, and there had been no activity. He had told me Isaac probably wasn't going to be a Christmas baby, and to try to wait to have him until he was back in the office the following week. So far Dr. Edwards hasn't gotten to deliver either of my babies, but I think he's a great doctor anyway.
Dr. Emig told me she didn't usually have mother's come in unless they were in pain, and I assured her that I was. She told me to come on.
We arrived at the hospital at 1:3o Monday morning. I wanted an epidural. I didn't get one. Isaac was born at 2:58 a.m. Labor took a total of four hours.
When the nurse checked me I was three or four centimeters dilated. When the doctor admitted me I was five. They had trouble getting my blood sample, because veins that are usually easy to tap wouldn't bleed. The IV was difficult to establish. There was some other problem with one of the machines. The anesthesiologist didn't have time to get there.
I didn't call Jill because at first I didn't want to wake her up if this were nothing, and later because I didn't want to insult the nurses in attendance. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, because labor was so fast she probably wouldn't have been able to get there in time. I got to spend some time with her in the hospital anyway.
Delivery was hard, and it was painful, but it was fast, and the recovery was wonderful. I was able to walk around within hours, and the pain has been entirely manageable, apart from the headaches that recur from lack of sleep. I have stitches, but they have caused me fairly little discomfort.
Isaac is perfect, although his feet and hands remind me of a little bird's, long and often flexed at odd angles. He has very little body fat, and his knees stay bent much of the time. They tell me this is because he had very little room to move around prior to birth, although he was always a kicker from early on. The most uncomfortable aspect of pregnancy was how often he would catch me in the ribs.
We're still getting used to each other, but he seems to get a little cuter everyday. Even though he doesn't look a lot like Parker to me, there are things about him that remind me of Parker when he was that small. At some point I'd like to post pictures of both of them.
Saturday morning Michael and I moved quantities of frozen food from a deep freeze out in Coaling to one at another friend's house less than a mile away. Saturday evening Michael picked up the crib that John and Linda are loaning us to use with Isaac.
Anna Grace went shopping with me earlier on Saturday afternoon. It was the first chance we'd had to do anything together in a while besides cookie making at Cori's house the Tuesday before. At one point I told her I thought I might be having a contraction, but it's always been hard for me to tell throughout this pregnancy because not only have the been painless, but they've been few and far between.
That evening I noticed a hemorrhoid had developed, and I thought, "Damn that Starbucks. Every time I go there with Anna this happens."
Someone from Michael's office had given us a gift certificate to Longhorn Steakhouse on Friday. It was a long shot, but I asked Anna Grace before church Sunday morning whether she and Ben would be willing to sit with Parker for us so that Michael and I could go out. Typically when family lunch at the Bishop's has been canceled, Ben and Anna will try to have lunch with members of the youth group or their shepherding group, but this day they set aside their normal plans to let us go out. It was so nice for the two of us to be out alone together, even if only for a little while. Rarely do we have the opportunity for a date.
Damon came over to watch Hancock Sunday afternoon and he and Michael put the crib together that evening. I had gotten the mattress from Cori just that Tuesday.
Sunday evening Michael asked me if I could read to Parker and put him to bed. He could tell by looking at me, however, that I was tired and didn't feel up to it, so offered to go ahead and do it instead. Parker then requested that mommy read to him, something he never does, so I got to read to my darling in the evening before going into labor that night.
Normally I cannot sleep until Michael comes to bed, which he often doesn't do until 10:30 or 11:00. This evening he came to bed at 11:00 after checking in on Parker, and that's when it started. Literally. Michael got into bed, and I hopped out, thinking that I had just experienced the final indignity of pregnancy, a total loss of bladder control.
Beware gory details: I seriously thought that I had lost bladder control. It didn't matter that there seemed to be much more fluid involved than this could explain. I didn't bother to turn on the light in the bathroom, because at night I rarely do. I grabbed a sanitary napkin and tried to go back to bed. When I returned to the bathroom only moments later I noticed the napkin had turned pink, but I thought that was what it did when it got wet, having never used this particular brand before.
Then I became aware of the contractions. They were close, and they hurt, but I wanted to time them to be sure. I didn't want to be one of those women who goes into the hospital on a false alarm. We waited probably 45 minutes before even calling the hospital.
When Dr. Emig asked me if I'd had any unusual discharge I said I didn't think so. I didn't realize that what I was experiencing had anything to do with amniotic fluid.
Dr. Edwards had checked me the Wednesday before, and there had been no activity. He had told me Isaac probably wasn't going to be a Christmas baby, and to try to wait to have him until he was back in the office the following week. So far Dr. Edwards hasn't gotten to deliver either of my babies, but I think he's a great doctor anyway.
Dr. Emig told me she didn't usually have mother's come in unless they were in pain, and I assured her that I was. She told me to come on.
We arrived at the hospital at 1:3o Monday morning. I wanted an epidural. I didn't get one. Isaac was born at 2:58 a.m. Labor took a total of four hours.
When the nurse checked me I was three or four centimeters dilated. When the doctor admitted me I was five. They had trouble getting my blood sample, because veins that are usually easy to tap wouldn't bleed. The IV was difficult to establish. There was some other problem with one of the machines. The anesthesiologist didn't have time to get there.
I didn't call Jill because at first I didn't want to wake her up if this were nothing, and later because I didn't want to insult the nurses in attendance. It wouldn't have mattered anyway, because labor was so fast she probably wouldn't have been able to get there in time. I got to spend some time with her in the hospital anyway.
Delivery was hard, and it was painful, but it was fast, and the recovery was wonderful. I was able to walk around within hours, and the pain has been entirely manageable, apart from the headaches that recur from lack of sleep. I have stitches, but they have caused me fairly little discomfort.
Isaac is perfect, although his feet and hands remind me of a little bird's, long and often flexed at odd angles. He has very little body fat, and his knees stay bent much of the time. They tell me this is because he had very little room to move around prior to birth, although he was always a kicker from early on. The most uncomfortable aspect of pregnancy was how often he would catch me in the ribs.
We're still getting used to each other, but he seems to get a little cuter everyday. Even though he doesn't look a lot like Parker to me, there are things about him that remind me of Parker when he was that small. At some point I'd like to post pictures of both of them.
Timing-Provision/God has been Very Good
Isaac, gentleman that he is, waited to arrive until after Michael's immediate obligations as special events deacon at Grace had been fulfilled. He chose to come before my Dad had to commit to whether or not he would travel to New Orleans to lecture for the Marine Corp. He waited until after Michael and I had the opportunity to go to lunch alone together just that afternoon.
I have often been disappointed in thinking about the neat ways God hasn't provided for us and for our needs. He's never given me an automobile out of the blue (something I have always dreamed would happen). He's never given us a specific amount of money immediately before or after we have needed.
But here's what He has done.
We needed a baby bed and mattress for Isaac to sleep on. John and Linda are loaning us a bed. Cori has provided a mattress. We needed a place for Isaac to sleep until he's old enough to make it through the night without nursing, when he'll join Parker. Shelly bought us a bassinet for a dollar at a yard sale. We needed a cover for the bassinet. Elizabeth had that would fit.
The automatic breast pump I need to establish nursing has been provided without cost beyond it's use of electricity. Heather and Anna Grace were available without question to spend parts of the night with Parker the night Isaac arrived.
Isaac has diapers because Michael's office gave us a diaper shower the Friday before Isaac was born. Linda watched Parker while I got my driver's license renewed only the weekend before.
Anna gave me clothes to wear the last couple of months of my pregnancy. Isaac has clothes to wear because Laura and Tina and Elizabeth and others gave us their old ones. Isaac has his own new blankets thanks to Pam and others. My parents live close by so there was never any question of where Parker would stay while Michael and I were at the hospital with Isaac.
Our kitchen range was dying, and so Michael's parents helped us to purchase a new one over Thanksgiving. My parents have bought us groceries since Isaac has been here, as well as various household needs. My mom often buys me clothes when I need them and she's available to help me with the boys until I adjust to nursing with a two year-0ld in the house. Daniel and Shannon were able to be here the day Isaac arrived.
Our mortgage is low, which as been a tremendous help in coping with the rising costs of living. We get the dependant tax exemption for 2008 even though we had no expectation. God didn't exactly GIVE us a car, but in reality He did, because we were able to buy a mini-van this year from someone we know and trust, who provided a complete maintenance history and even had the oil changed and the tires rotated after the sales agreement had been made. Best of all, two car seats fit in it easily, which they never could have in our other car.
We have our own washer and dryer this time around to cope with the tremendous amounts of laundry a new baby generates.
Michael has been able to take time off work to be with me and Parker and Isaac with very little difficulty, and he's off again tomorrow for New Years.
How has God not provided for us?
He is good anyway, by the way, apart from anything He may or may not do for us. I have to tempt disaster and thank Him because this is His due.
I have often been disappointed in thinking about the neat ways God hasn't provided for us and for our needs. He's never given me an automobile out of the blue (something I have always dreamed would happen). He's never given us a specific amount of money immediately before or after we have needed.
But here's what He has done.
We needed a baby bed and mattress for Isaac to sleep on. John and Linda are loaning us a bed. Cori has provided a mattress. We needed a place for Isaac to sleep until he's old enough to make it through the night without nursing, when he'll join Parker. Shelly bought us a bassinet for a dollar at a yard sale. We needed a cover for the bassinet. Elizabeth had that would fit.
The automatic breast pump I need to establish nursing has been provided without cost beyond it's use of electricity. Heather and Anna Grace were available without question to spend parts of the night with Parker the night Isaac arrived.
Isaac has diapers because Michael's office gave us a diaper shower the Friday before Isaac was born. Linda watched Parker while I got my driver's license renewed only the weekend before.
Anna gave me clothes to wear the last couple of months of my pregnancy. Isaac has clothes to wear because Laura and Tina and Elizabeth and others gave us their old ones. Isaac has his own new blankets thanks to Pam and others. My parents live close by so there was never any question of where Parker would stay while Michael and I were at the hospital with Isaac.
Our kitchen range was dying, and so Michael's parents helped us to purchase a new one over Thanksgiving. My parents have bought us groceries since Isaac has been here, as well as various household needs. My mom often buys me clothes when I need them and she's available to help me with the boys until I adjust to nursing with a two year-0ld in the house. Daniel and Shannon were able to be here the day Isaac arrived.
Our mortgage is low, which as been a tremendous help in coping with the rising costs of living. We get the dependant tax exemption for 2008 even though we had no expectation. God didn't exactly GIVE us a car, but in reality He did, because we were able to buy a mini-van this year from someone we know and trust, who provided a complete maintenance history and even had the oil changed and the tires rotated after the sales agreement had been made. Best of all, two car seats fit in it easily, which they never could have in our other car.
We have our own washer and dryer this time around to cope with the tremendous amounts of laundry a new baby generates.
Michael has been able to take time off work to be with me and Parker and Isaac with very little difficulty, and he's off again tomorrow for New Years.
How has God not provided for us?
He is good anyway, by the way, apart from anything He may or may not do for us. I have to tempt disaster and thank Him because this is His due.
Thursday, December 25, 2008
Friday, November 14, 2008
God is Good, but maybe it doesn't mean what you think it means.
A dear woman I know pointed out, immediately following the presidential election, that we put our trust in God, not in rulers and politicians. She quoted a very succinct passage of scripture bearing this out, but I haven't been able to find it.
Would anyone like to share some references?
I've been thinking a lot lately about what trusting God means. For me it doesn't mean that I expect my life will always be enjoyable, that tragic things will never happen in my family, that I'll get everything I want out of life and more. I don't trust that God will make me happy, or that we'll always have what we consider enough money and resources, or that things won't get really bad sometimes. As a matter of fact, if you look very long at the Old Testament you see that things can get really bad for God's children. Trusting God means knowing that He is good, that His love is perfect even when it doesn't feel very good, and that we won't always be disappointed. We know from scripture that God enjoys giving us good gifts, we just can't get too hung up on what those good gifts are supposed to be.
I decided a few months ago that God is the only example of a good and perfect parent that the scriptures show.
This is so complicated, but it's very good for my prayer life, as are the economic struggles of rising prices and frozen salaries.
Would anyone like to share some references?
I've been thinking a lot lately about what trusting God means. For me it doesn't mean that I expect my life will always be enjoyable, that tragic things will never happen in my family, that I'll get everything I want out of life and more. I don't trust that God will make me happy, or that we'll always have what we consider enough money and resources, or that things won't get really bad sometimes. As a matter of fact, if you look very long at the Old Testament you see that things can get really bad for God's children. Trusting God means knowing that He is good, that His love is perfect even when it doesn't feel very good, and that we won't always be disappointed. We know from scripture that God enjoys giving us good gifts, we just can't get too hung up on what those good gifts are supposed to be.
I decided a few months ago that God is the only example of a good and perfect parent that the scriptures show.
This is so complicated, but it's very good for my prayer life, as are the economic struggles of rising prices and frozen salaries.
Is there a Leisure Class Extant Anywhere in the World Anymore?
Please don't think I think I know what I'm talking about. Huh?
Is there a leisure class in this country? I ask because I recently reread Jane Austen's Emma and started thinking about the fact that there was quite a large leisure class in the early 18th century in England. I started to wonder whether such a thing existed in America around the time of the Revolutionary War, having seen HBO's *John Adams* recently. Is there a leisure class in America today. The press and politicians would have you believe so.
I admit I don't stay up to date with Hollywood Gossip, but the only person I can think of who lives a life of leisure is Paris Hilton, and I don't care the tiniest little bit about what's going on in her life short of the most basic moral interest afforded another human being. Other people out there who seem to have boatloads of money, excepting politicians perhaps, work for what they have, or else provide living for countless others who work for or in association with them.
Actors and Actresses, at least those for whom I have any respect, work hard long hours. Some of them even take the time to think about what they do and why they do it.
I'm thinking about this because of economic factors. I'm curious about what will actually happen with our taxes under this new president. I can't afford to actually worry about it, but I am curious, all the while reminding myself that God will provide--somehow. Perhaps not in the way I would prefer.
Is there a leisure class in this country? I ask because I recently reread Jane Austen's Emma and started thinking about the fact that there was quite a large leisure class in the early 18th century in England. I started to wonder whether such a thing existed in America around the time of the Revolutionary War, having seen HBO's *John Adams* recently. Is there a leisure class in America today. The press and politicians would have you believe so.
I admit I don't stay up to date with Hollywood Gossip, but the only person I can think of who lives a life of leisure is Paris Hilton, and I don't care the tiniest little bit about what's going on in her life short of the most basic moral interest afforded another human being. Other people out there who seem to have boatloads of money, excepting politicians perhaps, work for what they have, or else provide living for countless others who work for or in association with them.
Actors and Actresses, at least those for whom I have any respect, work hard long hours. Some of them even take the time to think about what they do and why they do it.
I'm thinking about this because of economic factors. I'm curious about what will actually happen with our taxes under this new president. I can't afford to actually worry about it, but I am curious, all the while reminding myself that God will provide--somehow. Perhaps not in the way I would prefer.
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Economic Concerns; on an individual level
It's been a few days since my last post, and I promise that I'm trying to do better. These days I sort of have to hide my laptop because whenever Parker sees it he begs to play games on PBSKids.org. Seriously, he asks for it by name, and he asks to use "Mommy's computer."
It's kind of annoying actually.
My electric range seems to be slowly dying, which means we may soon have to buy a new one. It seems to me that as long as we are buying a range we should look into converting to natural gas. I'm used to cooking with gas, like the amount of control that can be exerted over the flame, and find that we already have a gas water heater and gas heat, as well as the gas logs we are using more this year than last year. I know that at one time natural gas was cheaper than electricity. Does anyone know whether than continues to be true? I know that the cost of electricity is set to increase sometime in the near future, so I'm wondering which will turn out to be the better value.
The cost of groceries has been getting me down. I wonder if those prices will eventually decrease again considering the price of gasoline has almost halved itself over the past month.
Will I ever be quite comfortable purchasing cheese again?
It's kind of annoying actually.
My electric range seems to be slowly dying, which means we may soon have to buy a new one. It seems to me that as long as we are buying a range we should look into converting to natural gas. I'm used to cooking with gas, like the amount of control that can be exerted over the flame, and find that we already have a gas water heater and gas heat, as well as the gas logs we are using more this year than last year. I know that at one time natural gas was cheaper than electricity. Does anyone know whether than continues to be true? I know that the cost of electricity is set to increase sometime in the near future, so I'm wondering which will turn out to be the better value.
The cost of groceries has been getting me down. I wonder if those prices will eventually decrease again considering the price of gasoline has almost halved itself over the past month.
Will I ever be quite comfortable purchasing cheese again?
Saturday, November 8, 2008
The Answer to my Question about Leg Cramps
It took two days for me to get around to it, but I finally went online to Blue Cross/Blue Shield's WebMD website (www.webmdhealth.com, which is available to Blue Cross/Blue Shield members) to find out what to do next time I get a leg cramp.
It turns out that about half of all pregnant women get night-time leg cramps in the second and third trimesters. If you get one, you want to avoid pointing your toe. The website says to flex your ankle so that your toes point toward the ceiling, massage the muscle, and eventually, try walking on it.
I know what to do in cases of hydroplaning in my automobile. I have good reflexes when it comes to driving that have probably, with God's help, saved me more than once. But when it comes to leg cramps I was clueless as to what to do even though I had been given that information before.
For some reason this reminds me that we need to take the CPR class offered by Northport DCH.
It turns out that about half of all pregnant women get night-time leg cramps in the second and third trimesters. If you get one, you want to avoid pointing your toe. The website says to flex your ankle so that your toes point toward the ceiling, massage the muscle, and eventually, try walking on it.
I know what to do in cases of hydroplaning in my automobile. I have good reflexes when it comes to driving that have probably, with God's help, saved me more than once. But when it comes to leg cramps I was clueless as to what to do even though I had been given that information before.
For some reason this reminds me that we need to take the CPR class offered by Northport DCH.
Friday, November 7, 2008
Thank you, God, for White Cloud Diapers
I was looking around on Amazon a little while ago and found a discussion concerning the differences between Pampers Baby Dry and Pampers Cruisers. It was funny to me how just about every review I read absolutely contradicted my experience with both products.
Back in the days when I was willing to spend the money on Pampers Diapers I found that I liked Baby Dry much better than Cruisers. I can't tell you why, because I no longer remember the details. The reviews I saw tonight trashed Baby Dry in favor of the more expensive Cruisers. Of course, when Parker was a smaller infant I liked Huggies better than Pampers, so that may have some bearing on my choices. I was utterly unimpressed with Huggies Supreme. So much depends on the shape of your baby.
This goes to show how unreliable product reviews are, but it also makes me wonder, how can one gather reliable information about any given product without examining it for yourself? This has greater philosophical implications.
Back in the days when I was willing to spend the money on Pampers Diapers I found that I liked Baby Dry much better than Cruisers. I can't tell you why, because I no longer remember the details. The reviews I saw tonight trashed Baby Dry in favor of the more expensive Cruisers. Of course, when Parker was a smaller infant I liked Huggies better than Pampers, so that may have some bearing on my choices. I was utterly unimpressed with Huggies Supreme. So much depends on the shape of your baby.
This goes to show how unreliable product reviews are, but it also makes me wonder, how can one gather reliable information about any given product without examining it for yourself? This has greater philosophical implications.
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Question: Maybe Later I'll Have a Chance to Look This Up Online
At about 6:15 this morning I woke up with a cramp in the calf muscle of my right leg. It was terrible. Now I know that when you get a cramp there are certain things you should do, and there are certain things you shouldn't. Neither Michale nor I could remember what they were.
Are you supposed to point your toe, or flex your ankle? I flexed, which led to an ankle that wouldn't stop flexing. Finally Michael suggested that I get up and walk on it a little bit, and that seemed to do the trick.
I haven't had a leg cramp in ages, although I used to occasionally get a small one while driving. There's a scary thought.
Are you supposed to point your toe, or flex your ankle? I flexed, which led to an ankle that wouldn't stop flexing. Finally Michael suggested that I get up and walk on it a little bit, and that seemed to do the trick.
I haven't had a leg cramp in ages, although I used to occasionally get a small one while driving. There's a scary thought.
Making Room
I think it is funny that while my mom is always telling me I should do something with my interior design degree, both she and Michael are better space planners than I am.
Michael is responsible for the only living room arrangement that has ever worked for us in our living room space. Yesterday my mom came over to help me get ready for Isaac. I had already done some rearranging of Parker's room, but she suggested a couple of additional changes. When Michael came home at the end of the day and saw what had been done in Parker's room he said, "Wow, this is a more efficient use of space."
It isn't perfect. My rocking chair is no longer next to the bookshelf, so choosing books at bedtime will be a little more tricky. And we still have to put some of Parker's toys into an organized rotation, but with the work my mom did yesterday, decisions about rotating toys are going to be a whole lot easier. Also, she found a way that we can keep the chest of drawers in Parker's room so I'll have some of the storage space I'll need with an even smaller child in the house.
I'm feeling better about fitting Isaac into our home.
Michael is responsible for the only living room arrangement that has ever worked for us in our living room space. Yesterday my mom came over to help me get ready for Isaac. I had already done some rearranging of Parker's room, but she suggested a couple of additional changes. When Michael came home at the end of the day and saw what had been done in Parker's room he said, "Wow, this is a more efficient use of space."
It isn't perfect. My rocking chair is no longer next to the bookshelf, so choosing books at bedtime will be a little more tricky. And we still have to put some of Parker's toys into an organized rotation, but with the work my mom did yesterday, decisions about rotating toys are going to be a whole lot easier. Also, she found a way that we can keep the chest of drawers in Parker's room so I'll have some of the storage space I'll need with an even smaller child in the house.
I'm feeling better about fitting Isaac into our home.
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
It's Been a Busy Day
You've noticed by now that I can barely add anything to my blog these days. There are many reasons for this, many of which I have probably already covered, either here or in conversation. Even if my blogging days aren't over, it will probably still be many months before I get into the swing of things again.
According to the calendar I am officially thirty-one weeks pregnant today. This means that Isaac (his first name) will be arriving soon whether I am ready or not. In the meantime I will be helping out a friend (whose fifth child is due tomorrow) with various things that are going on around her house. My expectation is that in helping her, I'll be helping myself as well as I attempt to develop some routines that will make my home run more smoothly with a little boy holding each hand.
Over the weekend I washed lots and lots of baby clothes. Monday morning I rearranged Parker's bedroom to make space for a second bed. Today-- today turned out to be a really long day. Isn't it funny how the course of approximately 45 minutes can turn an entire day into a difficult one?
We had a good day today. We spent the morning at my friends house getting oriented to what life will be like for the next month or so. Parker missed his nap because Michael and I got together to vote, each at separate locations, so afterwards Parker and I went to the church playground to play instead of going home. It was next that the unfortunate series of decisions was put into action.
I recently attempted to replace a part on my bathroom sink, among other things, and the part I acquired didn't quite fit, so I decided to pay a visit to Lowe's since Parker and I were already out and about. I needed gasoline too, and it was still an hour before Michael would be home. In my mind this seemed simple enough. Well when I told Parker that we were going to Lowe's I think he got the idea that we were either going somewhere to get something to eat, or that we were going to play and someone's house, because he said that he wanted to go, but was clearly disappointed once we got there. He told me he was hungry, but I did not heed his warnings.
Parker was, understandably, whiney and disobedient inside Lowe's. I returned the part that needed returning, but the replacement part was nowhere to be found. Since I was there already I thought I might as well look at their selection of freestanding ranges as Michael and I are considering replacing our dying one over the weekend. Here's where it goes bad.
The nice salesman at Lowe's is showing me a selection of ranges that may meet our needs, and he is showing me the differences in oven capacity. Parker is very curious himself and opens the oven door to one of the units even though he knows never to touch our oven at home. He opens the oven door, is propelled toward the floor by said door and cracks the back of his head against the concrete. Ouch. Poor, poor baby. The salesman is quite alarmed. We leave the store as quickly as possible.
Since Parker is hungry I give him an apple to eat on the ride home. Parker chokes on apple peal as we enter the turn lane onto McFarland. Thankfully the light stays red long enough for me to put the car in park, reach back, and let him spit the apple peal out into my hand. These events blew out my energy reserves for the remainder of the day. Thankfully Parker was fine on both counts. I wish that my emotional state were as good.
There was a package waiting for Parker when we got home. Michael's grandparents sent him some books, and a really neat collection of Alphabet Animal cards. The cards are lovely, and the books make music, which Parker loves. He sang to himself this evening--To Market, To Market. When they prayed before lunch this morning, Parker folded his hands and said his own prayer, the one that Michael taught him.
I love that little boy so much.
According to the calendar I am officially thirty-one weeks pregnant today. This means that Isaac (his first name) will be arriving soon whether I am ready or not. In the meantime I will be helping out a friend (whose fifth child is due tomorrow) with various things that are going on around her house. My expectation is that in helping her, I'll be helping myself as well as I attempt to develop some routines that will make my home run more smoothly with a little boy holding each hand.
Over the weekend I washed lots and lots of baby clothes. Monday morning I rearranged Parker's bedroom to make space for a second bed. Today-- today turned out to be a really long day. Isn't it funny how the course of approximately 45 minutes can turn an entire day into a difficult one?
We had a good day today. We spent the morning at my friends house getting oriented to what life will be like for the next month or so. Parker missed his nap because Michael and I got together to vote, each at separate locations, so afterwards Parker and I went to the church playground to play instead of going home. It was next that the unfortunate series of decisions was put into action.
I recently attempted to replace a part on my bathroom sink, among other things, and the part I acquired didn't quite fit, so I decided to pay a visit to Lowe's since Parker and I were already out and about. I needed gasoline too, and it was still an hour before Michael would be home. In my mind this seemed simple enough. Well when I told Parker that we were going to Lowe's I think he got the idea that we were either going somewhere to get something to eat, or that we were going to play and someone's house, because he said that he wanted to go, but was clearly disappointed once we got there. He told me he was hungry, but I did not heed his warnings.
Parker was, understandably, whiney and disobedient inside Lowe's. I returned the part that needed returning, but the replacement part was nowhere to be found. Since I was there already I thought I might as well look at their selection of freestanding ranges as Michael and I are considering replacing our dying one over the weekend. Here's where it goes bad.
The nice salesman at Lowe's is showing me a selection of ranges that may meet our needs, and he is showing me the differences in oven capacity. Parker is very curious himself and opens the oven door to one of the units even though he knows never to touch our oven at home. He opens the oven door, is propelled toward the floor by said door and cracks the back of his head against the concrete. Ouch. Poor, poor baby. The salesman is quite alarmed. We leave the store as quickly as possible.
Since Parker is hungry I give him an apple to eat on the ride home. Parker chokes on apple peal as we enter the turn lane onto McFarland. Thankfully the light stays red long enough for me to put the car in park, reach back, and let him spit the apple peal out into my hand. These events blew out my energy reserves for the remainder of the day. Thankfully Parker was fine on both counts. I wish that my emotional state were as good.
There was a package waiting for Parker when we got home. Michael's grandparents sent him some books, and a really neat collection of Alphabet Animal cards. The cards are lovely, and the books make music, which Parker loves. He sang to himself this evening--To Market, To Market. When they prayed before lunch this morning, Parker folded his hands and said his own prayer, the one that Michael taught him.
I love that little boy so much.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Question of the Day
It's about time to introduce Parker to the big bed. I don't expect him to start sleeping in it yet, but he needs to get used to having it in his room.
There used to be bunk beds in my parents house. Several months ago these were moved to our basement since we weren't quite sure what to do about future sleeping arrangements. I'd prefer to use my first bed, but that's stored away in my parent's attic, we don't know quite where.
At the moment we plan to use just one of the bunk beds, leaving the other where it is until needed. My question is, what do I need to do to the old mattress before moving it back into the house? Unfortunately now is not the right time for us to invest in a new one.
There used to be bunk beds in my parents house. Several months ago these were moved to our basement since we weren't quite sure what to do about future sleeping arrangements. I'd prefer to use my first bed, but that's stored away in my parent's attic, we don't know quite where.
At the moment we plan to use just one of the bunk beds, leaving the other where it is until needed. My question is, what do I need to do to the old mattress before moving it back into the house? Unfortunately now is not the right time for us to invest in a new one.
Monday, September 22, 2008
Update
Yay! I passed my test no problem. I do not have gestational diabetes and I am quite hungry. Parker had fun playing with Granna at the park while I had my finger pricked four times in just over three hours.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
What a Week
This has been quite the busy weekend.
Wednesday we were graced by the presence of various guests. My Uncle Billy and Aunt Barbara drove in from Georgia for an all too brief visit. They came bearing gifts for Parker from a yard sale given by my cousins. We visited on the front porch of my house, as the weather was so nice. Parker enjoyed seeing them.
Thursday, of course, I failed my one-hour blood glucose test.
Friday morning Parker and I left the house early to pick Granna up so we could all attend the Little Lambs Consignment Sale at First United Methodist downtown. We were there a full two hours.
I am claustrophobic, which means it is nearly impossible for me to enter an aisle that is already jammed with people. This becomes a distinct disadvantage when it comes to huge consignment sales. Thankfully my mom was with me. We found winter clothes for Parker, the random toy or two, as well as a crib mobile for the coming baby, and some maternity clothes for me. By the time were were finished I was numb. The ability to make decisions soon evaporated.
Friday evening I had one of those lovely emotional breakdowns that come about as the natural product of pregnancy. The fact that I haven't yet started taking my iron supplements doesn't help. The catalyst for this was a disastrous last-minute trip to Winn-Dixie which resulted in the purchase of eight containers of Yoplait Yogurt for 75c each. I'll rail against Winn-Dixie and other grocery stores that require the use of a plastic card to obtain sales prices, and cashiers who ignore their customers very existence, on some other occasion.
Saturday we celebrated Parker's birthday with my family, along with a brief visit from Heather and Ceilidh. This only after having portraits made for our church's new photo directory, photos we chose not even to see since we knew it wasn't a good time for us to buy. I don't think the photographer was well pleased by our lack of interest. I spent the entire day getting ready for both events and washing all of the clothing purchased on consignment the day before. Parker failed to nap at all on Saturday.
Today I learned how to use a baby sling, and I attended the memorial service for an acquaintance whose passing has made me very sad. Tomorrow I go in for the three hour blood-glucose test. I can have nothing but water after midnight tonight. Tomorrow morning they'll give me twice as much of the sugar soda to drink, and I will have my finger pricked every hour for three hours thereafter. I have to pass two out of three finger-pricks. If I fail I will go on a diabetic diet for the remainder of my pregnancy, but the doctor doesn't expect me to fail and neither do I. I wish I didn't have to go in for another test however. It would have been so much more convenient to get it over with the first time.
I had hoped to post some pictures, but the device doesn't seem to be working this evening.
Wednesday we were graced by the presence of various guests. My Uncle Billy and Aunt Barbara drove in from Georgia for an all too brief visit. They came bearing gifts for Parker from a yard sale given by my cousins. We visited on the front porch of my house, as the weather was so nice. Parker enjoyed seeing them.
Thursday, of course, I failed my one-hour blood glucose test.
Friday morning Parker and I left the house early to pick Granna up so we could all attend the Little Lambs Consignment Sale at First United Methodist downtown. We were there a full two hours.
I am claustrophobic, which means it is nearly impossible for me to enter an aisle that is already jammed with people. This becomes a distinct disadvantage when it comes to huge consignment sales. Thankfully my mom was with me. We found winter clothes for Parker, the random toy or two, as well as a crib mobile for the coming baby, and some maternity clothes for me. By the time were were finished I was numb. The ability to make decisions soon evaporated.
Friday evening I had one of those lovely emotional breakdowns that come about as the natural product of pregnancy. The fact that I haven't yet started taking my iron supplements doesn't help. The catalyst for this was a disastrous last-minute trip to Winn-Dixie which resulted in the purchase of eight containers of Yoplait Yogurt for 75c each. I'll rail against Winn-Dixie and other grocery stores that require the use of a plastic card to obtain sales prices, and cashiers who ignore their customers very existence, on some other occasion.
Saturday we celebrated Parker's birthday with my family, along with a brief visit from Heather and Ceilidh. This only after having portraits made for our church's new photo directory, photos we chose not even to see since we knew it wasn't a good time for us to buy. I don't think the photographer was well pleased by our lack of interest. I spent the entire day getting ready for both events and washing all of the clothing purchased on consignment the day before. Parker failed to nap at all on Saturday.
Today I learned how to use a baby sling, and I attended the memorial service for an acquaintance whose passing has made me very sad. Tomorrow I go in for the three hour blood-glucose test. I can have nothing but water after midnight tonight. Tomorrow morning they'll give me twice as much of the sugar soda to drink, and I will have my finger pricked every hour for three hours thereafter. I have to pass two out of three finger-pricks. If I fail I will go on a diabetic diet for the remainder of my pregnancy, but the doctor doesn't expect me to fail and neither do I. I wish I didn't have to go in for another test however. It would have been so much more convenient to get it over with the first time.
I had hoped to post some pictures, but the device doesn't seem to be working this evening.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Parker's amazing strength
I failed my one hour blood glucose test this morning, but only by three points. This means I get to go back to the office one day next week for the three hour test. No surprise. The exact same thing happened when I was pregnant with Parker. Dr. Edward's thinks I'll probably pass the second test, which requires that I pass two out of three blood sugar measurements.
Tuesday morning Parker and I were working in the church library. At one point Parker got away from me (I was trying to reshelve books, after all), and guess where I found him. Inside the darkened ladies bathroom. With the door closed. The surprise was that he was heavy enough to open it on his own in the first place. Later I learned that Parker is able to open the front door to the church all on his own, because he made it out the door and halfway across the parking lot before I caught him. That was scary, but now I know.
Tuesday morning Parker and I were working in the church library. At one point Parker got away from me (I was trying to reshelve books, after all), and guess where I found him. Inside the darkened ladies bathroom. With the door closed. The surprise was that he was heavy enough to open it on his own in the first place. Later I learned that Parker is able to open the front door to the church all on his own, because he made it out the door and halfway across the parking lot before I caught him. That was scary, but now I know.
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Parker hugs his stuffed animals. Sometimes when I read to him a book Michael's grandmother sent--Lamb Chop's Fables: The Boat Contest, featuring Aesop's The Lion and the Mouse--Parker wants to hug Lamb Chop, who is treated poorly by Charley Horse in the story. He puts his cheek up against the picture of Lamb Chop in the book.
The other day Parker was watching The Muppet's Take Manhattan. There is a muppet babies sequence in the middle of that movie in which baby Rolf plays the piano. Parker saw Rolf, pointed to him--"Dog!"--and he said, "Hug, hug." He ran up to the television and tried to hug the tv. When baby piggie sings
"And I'm going to climb the Matterhorn, but only after all my children are born, because I want to be a good mommie too, and I'm going to always love you."
Parker hears mommie and yells out "Mommie" and runs to me to give me a hug.
Won't he be embarrased when he reads this when he's sixteen years old?
Friday, September 12, 2008
I only have to be up as early as any other morning tomorrow, but here are some pictures of Parker.
Right now I'm simply trying to figure out how some of Google's new features work. This is the face we call smiling at the sun, which recently has become the expression he gives whenever I ask him to smile at all.
Occurrences
I could start by sharing with you several of the occurrences that have caused me temporary stress recently, but instead I'll simply update you on positive changes that have taken place.
1. We recently became a two car family!
Let's see if I can figure out how long it has been since we had two cars. Our Oldsmobile Achieva S died while I was working at the University in International Graduate Admissions. Even though the car was less than ten years old, the damage to the engine proved to not be worth repairing. There was something funny about the engine so that salvage replacement was highly unlikely.
That must have happened about four years ago since my driver's license expired just after I started working there, and my renewal comes up at the end of this year (which means my new driver's license photo will be taken when I am very pregnant!) At the time I was very interested in paying for insurance on only one vehicle so we chose not to replace the car I had been driving.
Looking back on it this may have been what I wanted and not what God wanted.
2. A couple of weeks ago I had my second ultrasound. It's a boy!
Just like last time it was pretty obvious from the images that our baby is male. He was so curled up, however, that the technician was unable to get a shot of his profile. I have no notion yet of what his name will be.
Parker has become very interested in his little brothers heartbeat. Occasionally he'll start saying, "Heartbeat! Heartbeat!" which means he wants to see that part of the DVD. We put our machine on repeat, and each time it ends he says, "Again, Again."
1. We recently became a two car family!
Let's see if I can figure out how long it has been since we had two cars. Our Oldsmobile Achieva S died while I was working at the University in International Graduate Admissions. Even though the car was less than ten years old, the damage to the engine proved to not be worth repairing. There was something funny about the engine so that salvage replacement was highly unlikely.
That must have happened about four years ago since my driver's license expired just after I started working there, and my renewal comes up at the end of this year (which means my new driver's license photo will be taken when I am very pregnant!) At the time I was very interested in paying for insurance on only one vehicle so we chose not to replace the car I had been driving.
Looking back on it this may have been what I wanted and not what God wanted.
2. A couple of weeks ago I had my second ultrasound. It's a boy!
Just like last time it was pretty obvious from the images that our baby is male. He was so curled up, however, that the technician was unable to get a shot of his profile. I have no notion yet of what his name will be.
Parker has become very interested in his little brothers heartbeat. Occasionally he'll start saying, "Heartbeat! Heartbeat!" which means he wants to see that part of the DVD. We put our machine on repeat, and each time it ends he says, "Again, Again."
Explanations
When I do go online these days, it's usually to meet the needs of the moment. I check email to see if there's anything there I need to know. I check Facebook because, hey, it's addictive--but mostly just so I can update my Visual Bookshelf. If Parker is asleep or Michael's home I may play a quick game of Hidato or see if there's any new television online that falls under the category of "wannasee." I don't read much online, and I write very little of anything. Blogging has fallen off the priority list these last several months, as has Parker photography.
Will this change? I don't know yet. But it might.
Will this change? I don't know yet. But it might.
Monday, August 25, 2008
www.noisetrade.com
As many of you may already know, Don and Lori Chaffer a/k/a Waterdeep are my favorite musicians of all time. Don enjoys doing silly things with his music sometimes, which I appreciate though my musically advanced husband doesn't, but mostly I love Don and Lori for their lyrics: Always thoughtful, often profound, willing to use strong language (by which I don't mean profanity) to make their point. Their worship stuff is really cool too.
Anyway, I got an email from them today advertising Derek Webb's new music trading website www.noisetrade.com. I don't know anything about Derek Webb, so I don't know whether I would enjoy his music or not, but Don and Lori have two albums listed, "Heart Attack Time Machine" and "The Khrusty Brothers." I already have a hard copy of the first, and hope to get Khrusty Brothers eventually.
I'm curious to find out what you guys think of this concept. I'm unwilling to enter my friends email addresses without their permission, even though I am guaranteed by the website that these won't be stockpiled, but I'm not sure how much I should pay to download an entire album either.
Anyway, I got an email from them today advertising Derek Webb's new music trading website www.noisetrade.com. I don't know anything about Derek Webb, so I don't know whether I would enjoy his music or not, but Don and Lori have two albums listed, "Heart Attack Time Machine" and "The Khrusty Brothers." I already have a hard copy of the first, and hope to get Khrusty Brothers eventually.
I'm curious to find out what you guys think of this concept. I'm unwilling to enter my friends email addresses without their permission, even though I am guaranteed by the website that these won't be stockpiled, but I'm not sure how much I should pay to download an entire album either.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Photos
Michael took these photos last Saturday, when Parker went outside in the morning thinking he would play in the pool. Actually the temperature outside was so comfortable that no pool was needed. I found them yesterday. These are irresistible to a mom, especially the one in the middle.
Monday, July 28, 2008
Parker Being Cute
Parker got a hold of the camera again this morning and he took a few more pictures. The cute things he's done today are 1) rubbing oatmeal into his eyelashes, and 2) dragging the old infant tub out from under his bed and pretending it was a boat. He sang "Row, row, row, row" and ate cookies all while sitting in that blue infant tub. Too bad I didn't get any pictures of that.
Thursday, July 24, 2008
Parker Smiles at the Sun
This is a modified version of the way that Parker smiles at the sun. We say to him, "Parker, Parker, smile at the sun, Parker." Then he scrunches up his eyes and nose, sticks out his lower jaw and gives us what Michael calls a "big cheesy grin," all teeth. Very cute.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
...and I haven't even gotten to the sprinklers yet.
In honor of my parents' trip to China, these are a few family pictures taken at the beginning of the summer, somewhere close to Parker's eighteen month mark. My hair has changed since then, along with everything else. I haven't checked my calendar, but these may have been taken before we found out about the new baby in our future.
Parker Playing in the Rental House Backyard
Robert and Carol have been renting a small house in Madison while their new home is being built. Several months ago we paid a visit, and Parker had a great time playing in the back yard with Michael, the sprinklers, and Pam's dog.
Pictures of Parker from the only time he ever spent any time playing in his baby pool.
He enjoyed it for approximately half an hour, and hasn't shown much interest in it since. It's strange to me because this is the same boy who will play in any other standing water he can find in the back yard. These days he prefers the sprinklers.
Pictures of Parker
I've become sidetracked. I'm supposed to be loading pictures of Parker onto the blog. Instead I've been cleaning out my post list. These are the latest. The first shot is Parker's self portrait. The second is just Parker being cute.
An Old Post, Never Before Published
The reason why I haven't been blogging recently (This is how it goes):
I'm pregnant, and when I am pregnant I have trouble stringing words together. Maybe I'll get together a paragraph in my head while I'm supposed to be working on something else, but then I'll start to write it, and... There's an interruption of some sort, or I can't get it to work the way I want it to. It happens over and over again until I finally decide that I'm not going to do this for a while.
In graduate school just before Parker was born my inability to write proved disastrous. Three papers due at the end of the semester--the one I turned in to my Black Women's Metaphysical Fiction professor was total crap. I couldn't come up with anything interesting to write about, and what I finally did write about was incoherent and possibly offensive without any sort of redeeming usefulness. Seriously. I've tended to feel like an outsider a lot of times in the past and tried to write about being disappointingly marginalized by Ntozake Shange's expressed intent concerning the play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.
The paper I turned in for my Shakespeare class that semester, I don't even want to think about, and to this day I turn over and over in my mind possibilities for completing that incomplete earned in Theory of the Novel because I simply couldn't do anything with it. The incomplete haunts me because as long as it exists I damage my chances of ever being able to go back to Graduate School, even though by now I don't know whether or not I really want to go.
At this point I've said way more than I meant to say when I'm supposed to be posting pictures. Anyway here's a post I started at the beginning of May, and so instead of throwing it away, I'm posting it here, almost eight months late:
Parker slept late this morning, which turned out to be a good way to start the day. Especially since I wasn't in the mood to put anything away last night; so there were toys to redistribute, dishes to add to the dishwasher, and others needing personal attention. He atypically slept through one and a half showers, giving me the opportunity to do some devotional reading. I'm slowly and inconsistently working my way through Devotional Classics edited by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith. Today's selection was from Jonathan Edwards, and I confess that it did not get the attention it deserved. Maybe I'll have better success with comprehension tomorrow.
Parker has lately become a hugger and a cuddler and a climber and a talker. He doesn't blab, blab, blab away all day, but he is saying more and more words.
I've emailed two different people blog worthy material this morning, so I'll lay aside the guilt I feel at not revisiting those subjects afresh, and reproduce what I have already written here.
The first item I considered blog-worthy on May 2, 2008 was a story about how pregnancy hormones affect the mental faculty:
Two coffee cups. One has residue from yesterday's coffee because I found it this morning under my bed. The other has been freshly used then rinsed because I've decided to make a cup of tea. Which cup do you think I chose to put the tea bag and hot water in?
My used-to-be perfectly-good brain says, make sure you use the right cup. My perfectly-good brain does not say, put the old cup in the dishwasher before you do this. Thankfully the tea tastes okay anyway, and Parker is temporarily placated. Unfortunately I just realized that I forgot to put a bib on him, so he has oatmeal down his shirt.
Honestly, I no longer remember what the other blog-worthy post was meant to be.
I'm pregnant, and when I am pregnant I have trouble stringing words together. Maybe I'll get together a paragraph in my head while I'm supposed to be working on something else, but then I'll start to write it, and... There's an interruption of some sort, or I can't get it to work the way I want it to. It happens over and over again until I finally decide that I'm not going to do this for a while.
In graduate school just before Parker was born my inability to write proved disastrous. Three papers due at the end of the semester--the one I turned in to my Black Women's Metaphysical Fiction professor was total crap. I couldn't come up with anything interesting to write about, and what I finally did write about was incoherent and possibly offensive without any sort of redeeming usefulness. Seriously. I've tended to feel like an outsider a lot of times in the past and tried to write about being disappointingly marginalized by Ntozake Shange's expressed intent concerning the play For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow is Enuf.
The paper I turned in for my Shakespeare class that semester, I don't even want to think about, and to this day I turn over and over in my mind possibilities for completing that incomplete earned in Theory of the Novel because I simply couldn't do anything with it. The incomplete haunts me because as long as it exists I damage my chances of ever being able to go back to Graduate School, even though by now I don't know whether or not I really want to go.
At this point I've said way more than I meant to say when I'm supposed to be posting pictures. Anyway here's a post I started at the beginning of May, and so instead of throwing it away, I'm posting it here, almost eight months late:
Parker slept late this morning, which turned out to be a good way to start the day. Especially since I wasn't in the mood to put anything away last night; so there were toys to redistribute, dishes to add to the dishwasher, and others needing personal attention. He atypically slept through one and a half showers, giving me the opportunity to do some devotional reading. I'm slowly and inconsistently working my way through Devotional Classics edited by Richard Foster and James Bryan Smith. Today's selection was from Jonathan Edwards, and I confess that it did not get the attention it deserved. Maybe I'll have better success with comprehension tomorrow.
Parker has lately become a hugger and a cuddler and a climber and a talker. He doesn't blab, blab, blab away all day, but he is saying more and more words.
I've emailed two different people blog worthy material this morning, so I'll lay aside the guilt I feel at not revisiting those subjects afresh, and reproduce what I have already written here.
The first item I considered blog-worthy on May 2, 2008 was a story about how pregnancy hormones affect the mental faculty:
Two coffee cups. One has residue from yesterday's coffee because I found it this morning under my bed. The other has been freshly used then rinsed because I've decided to make a cup of tea. Which cup do you think I chose to put the tea bag and hot water in?
My used-to-be perfectly-good brain says, make sure you use the right cup. My perfectly-good brain does not say, put the old cup in the dishwasher before you do this. Thankfully the tea tastes okay anyway, and Parker is temporarily placated. Unfortunately I just realized that I forgot to put a bib on him, so he has oatmeal down his shirt.
Honestly, I no longer remember what the other blog-worthy post was meant to be.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
I haven't posted any pictures recently because I've barely even taken a picture of my child since that day over a month ago when I said I had some good ones of him playing in the sprinklers, and then discovered that those pictures weren't so good after all. It will all probably swing around again, but I'm reminded of two similar statements from interestingly different sources.
Norman Mailer (who periodically impresses me with his brilliance, while at other times disgusting me with with his crassness) and Flannery O' Connor write strikingly similar things about writing. They both say to sit down to write at the same time every day for a set amount of time and refuse to fill that time with any other activity, including reading. Inspiration comes unexpectedly, and only if you've proven that you'll be there when it comes.
See you next month (maybe).
Norman Mailer (who periodically impresses me with his brilliance, while at other times disgusting me with with his crassness) and Flannery O' Connor write strikingly similar things about writing. They both say to sit down to write at the same time every day for a set amount of time and refuse to fill that time with any other activity, including reading. Inspiration comes unexpectedly, and only if you've proven that you'll be there when it comes.
See you next month (maybe).
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Movies
Even though I don't expect it to be very good, I really want to see the new Get Smart movie opening next week. What are the chances I'll actually decide to go?
The Need for Sleep
I am much to old to stay out until midnight anymore. Despite my best intentions the following day was totally wiped out by tiredness--though we did get to attend a friend's five year birthday party. Parker was so cute, energized by those around him, running around the house, bouncing and spinning a hula hoop.
Lots of fun last night (out with friends on my own), lots of fun tonight (Michael and Parker and me), but wow, I am just too old. What if I were still in undergraduate school having to stay up all night three nights in a row to finish a mondo Interior Design project? How would I ever do it ten years later? And yet the four hours a night I'll hopefully get once the new baby comes is something to look forward, something I know God will have to get us through.
Wow.
Lots of fun last night (out with friends on my own), lots of fun tonight (Michael and Parker and me), but wow, I am just too old. What if I were still in undergraduate school having to stay up all night three nights in a row to finish a mondo Interior Design project? How would I ever do it ten years later? And yet the four hours a night I'll hopefully get once the new baby comes is something to look forward, something I know God will have to get us through.
Wow.
Monday, May 26, 2008
Animals
GG got Parker the cutest little stuffed monkey (with bellybutton and long weighted tail). Parker hasn't shown any interest in it just yet, but I'm in love with the thing.
I was never really the stuffed animal type myself. I had a teddy bear named Bear Bear that I slept with every night, but little else. I tickled that bear so often that he had bare patches all over his back and stomach, much as Parker's black bear has bare patches where his tag used to be. I would get upset when my mother tried to trim my fingernails because, I said, "I can't tickle Bear Bear anymore."
When I was pregnant with Parker, Carol (that's GG) bought a green and purple dinosaur stuffed animal that I also loved. There's something about being pregnant that makes me care more about stuffed animals. I slept with Parker's monkey tucked up in my arms most of Saturday night.
GG and Grandpa, I want you to know that Parker played with his lion, tiger, elephant and giraffe this morning. He came into our bedroom where I was dozing, with plastic lion in hand saying, "Roar, Roar, Roar." I roared back at him and he laughed back at me.
Also for the sake of the record, Parker has begun practicing the word "No." He said no to everything today whether he meant it or not. My sister asked him "Parker, do you love me?" and he said no every time. And we know that's not true.
He was so tired before his nap this afternoon that he tried to hold every piece of sidewalk chalk in his tiny little hands, and he cried as though his heart were breaking every time he dropped a piece. Michael said it was as though he thought the chalk were being taken from him if he couldn't hold them all in his hands. Eventually we convinced him to return the pieces to the plastic zip-lock bag in which they are stored and hold the bag while drawing with one piece of chalk at a time. He likes to draw on himself, the cement slab in our backyard, and on the Spalding basketball that rolls away every time he lets go of it.
I got some good pictures over the weekend (some of him playing with a water sprinkler in GG and Grandpa's backyard). I'll try to post some of these sometime in the next few days, but we've got a busy week ahead, so I make no promises.
I was never really the stuffed animal type myself. I had a teddy bear named Bear Bear that I slept with every night, but little else. I tickled that bear so often that he had bare patches all over his back and stomach, much as Parker's black bear has bare patches where his tag used to be. I would get upset when my mother tried to trim my fingernails because, I said, "I can't tickle Bear Bear anymore."
When I was pregnant with Parker, Carol (that's GG) bought a green and purple dinosaur stuffed animal that I also loved. There's something about being pregnant that makes me care more about stuffed animals. I slept with Parker's monkey tucked up in my arms most of Saturday night.
GG and Grandpa, I want you to know that Parker played with his lion, tiger, elephant and giraffe this morning. He came into our bedroom where I was dozing, with plastic lion in hand saying, "Roar, Roar, Roar." I roared back at him and he laughed back at me.
Also for the sake of the record, Parker has begun practicing the word "No." He said no to everything today whether he meant it or not. My sister asked him "Parker, do you love me?" and he said no every time. And we know that's not true.
He was so tired before his nap this afternoon that he tried to hold every piece of sidewalk chalk in his tiny little hands, and he cried as though his heart were breaking every time he dropped a piece. Michael said it was as though he thought the chalk were being taken from him if he couldn't hold them all in his hands. Eventually we convinced him to return the pieces to the plastic zip-lock bag in which they are stored and hold the bag while drawing with one piece of chalk at a time. He likes to draw on himself, the cement slab in our backyard, and on the Spalding basketball that rolls away every time he lets go of it.
I got some good pictures over the weekend (some of him playing with a water sprinkler in GG and Grandpa's backyard). I'll try to post some of these sometime in the next few days, but we've got a busy week ahead, so I make no promises.
Friday, May 23, 2008
Question of the Day
Parker pulled his baby book out this morning and had me read part of it to him. About the time he was born I was supposed to take note of things such as the price of a loaf of bread, a gallon of milk. Since these prices will be totally inflated by the time Parker's brother or sister is born, I'd really like to have the answers to these questions.
Did anybody out there take notice of these things in 2006 or no someone else who did? For their own baby books, perhaps? Know where I could find such information on the internet?
Here are the entries that I need:
Gallon of Milk; Loaf of Bread; Diapers; Movie ticket; Cotton shirt; Postage stamp; Gallon of gas; Computer; Car; Family vacation.
Did anybody out there take notice of these things in 2006 or no someone else who did? For their own baby books, perhaps? Know where I could find such information on the internet?
Here are the entries that I need:
Gallon of Milk; Loaf of Bread; Diapers; Movie ticket; Cotton shirt; Postage stamp; Gallon of gas; Computer; Car; Family vacation.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Question of the Day
I suppose it is understandable that I've been napping a lot lately. I don't get to do it every day; sometimes I can't sleep, and sometimes sleep isn't a priority. When I do nap these days it's for an hour, or two, or more, so I guess it's no surprise that when I do wake up I'm fairly non-functional for a while.
Michael suggests that if I limit myself to 20 minute naps I won't have this problem. Have any of you tried it? Compared a short nap to a long one and noticed the difference? I'm not ready to experiment--I just want to sleep.
I've had uncharacteristically late nights the past two nights. Last night Anna and I went to the Bama Theater to see my friend Alyson play. Alyson just produced a CD. You can hear some of her music at www.alysongreenfield.com/music.
Michael suggests that if I limit myself to 20 minute naps I won't have this problem. Have any of you tried it? Compared a short nap to a long one and noticed the difference? I'm not ready to experiment--I just want to sleep.
I've had uncharacteristically late nights the past two nights. Last night Anna and I went to the Bama Theater to see my friend Alyson play. Alyson just produced a CD. You can hear some of her music at www.alysongreenfield.com/music.
Monday, May 19, 2008
Optimism/Pessimism
I really liked the question Tina asked the other day. What makes one person generally pessimistic, leading them to worry, and what makes another person generally optimistic such that they rarely worry about anything at all? According to the magazines guilt seems to go right along with being a mom. I would extrapolate that to mean that worry also goes right along with being a mom, but that isn't really a satisfactory explanation.
I think it has to do with personality, not that Myers-Briggs has a category to explain worry. I don't know; it might. I think I associate optimism with the sanguin or phlegmatic temperment, while pessimism I would associate with the melancholy or choleric temperment. Really, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
My intellect tells me that worry is a totally nonproductive emotion. (Is worry and emotion, like happiness or frustration?) However, it also tells me everything that can and may go wrong. I default toward trying to be prepared for the worst as a way of staving off disappointment. Why do I expect things to go wrong? Because the world is broken. These days I just try to remember what is really important (thanks to Larry Crabb and The PAPA Prayer), and that is that I avoid replacing God with anything else as the "first thing" in my life. As such, I can talk to Him about the little things that matter to me, and yet realize that even if those things go wrong (like losing my calendar, seeing my comfortable if wild yard being destroyed) I don't have to let them ruin my day. That is a very good thing.
I think it has to do with personality, not that Myers-Briggs has a category to explain worry. I don't know; it might. I think I associate optimism with the sanguin or phlegmatic temperment, while pessimism I would associate with the melancholy or choleric temperment. Really, I have no idea what I'm talking about.
My intellect tells me that worry is a totally nonproductive emotion. (Is worry and emotion, like happiness or frustration?) However, it also tells me everything that can and may go wrong. I default toward trying to be prepared for the worst as a way of staving off disappointment. Why do I expect things to go wrong? Because the world is broken. These days I just try to remember what is really important (thanks to Larry Crabb and The PAPA Prayer), and that is that I avoid replacing God with anything else as the "first thing" in my life. As such, I can talk to Him about the little things that matter to me, and yet realize that even if those things go wrong (like losing my calendar, seeing my comfortable if wild yard being destroyed) I don't have to let them ruin my day. That is a very good thing.
Pictures of Parker From Before Our Yard Was Destroyed
It's kind of funny, tonight we saw the episode of Little House on the Prairie where Laura and Almanzo lose everything but the baby. Almonzo get dyptheria, their crops are destroyed, their house is destroyed in a tornado, and Almonzo loses the use of one side of his body. It's the first episode I saw last year, which is what got me interested in seeing the entire series. This episode makes me feel better about the damage to our back yard. At least we don't have any debts against it.
I'm Really Not Supposed to Give My Baby Chocolate, Right?
Last week sometime Parker and I were home alone together. This was one of the days when I wasn't feeling very well. Parker is, as I've said before, tall enough to reach a lot of things now, and he's become an excellent climber.
There was a plastic wrapped piece of chocolate cake on the table behind our sofa. It had been there for several days already, so when I left the room I remembered to take my yogurt with me, but never gave the chocolate cake even the first thought. This is what I emerged from the bathroom to discover:
There was a plastic wrapped piece of chocolate cake on the table behind our sofa. It had been there for several days already, so when I left the room I remembered to take my yogurt with me, but never gave the chocolate cake even the first thought. This is what I emerged from the bathroom to discover:
The Yard Has Good Bones; Now I Have to Figure Out How to Make it Work Now that What I Used to Have is Gone.
Somebody, I'm not sure who exactly, came through today and destroyed my back yard. It has something to do with clearing the power lines, which has to be a good thing, hasn't it? That grove of bamboo where we thought Parker would like to play is gone now. I haven't been out there yet, but there appear to be little jagged stumps all over the place that we'll have to do something about. The view is no longer shielded between our yard and that of the semi-vacant house next door.
Here's what I'm thinking. I wish that I could transform into a big strong man for just a few hours. Make that a big strong man who knows something about yardwork. I would take a shovel and dig up the shallow roots of the bamboo that was there just four hours ago. I would dig a trough deep enough to insert a barrier so that the roots could no longer spread to the rest of the yard. Meanwhile I would remove the metal frame that stand forlornly near the back of the yard, and in its place I would install one of those old fashioned clothes lines, the kind with permanent posts set in concrete; the clothesline would run parallel to the fence. I would run out to Lowe's and buy more of the screening that was installed between our yards just before we moved into this house, and add it to the fence as needed. I would also have our chain link fence repaired in the couple of places where it has been warped out.
Fortunately or unfortunately, since I'm pregnant I can't do any of that stuff. I guess I'll have to take this as an opportunity to plan. I miss my old shady yard already.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Parker and Me on Mother's Day
Parker spent the day exploring his Granna's yard. I spent the day napping in my sister's room. We managed to squeeze most of Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade in there too. Sean Connery's character in that movie reminds us so much of our Dad, especially the quotable bits of dialogue.
One of my Dad's favorite lines:
"Did I ever tell you to eat up? Go to bed? Wash behind your ears? Do your homework? No. I respected your privacy..."
Saturday, May 10, 2008
How I'm Feeling and What Parker Did at Graduation
I was amazed at how well Parker behaved at my brother's graduation this afternoon. He sat in Michael's lap the greater part of the time and ate snacks from the zip lock bag I packed. He borrowed my water, which was in an orange thermal cup he's attracted to, and spilled it down the front of his shirt. I accidentally sprayed a girl in front of us with water from his cup when I opened it, only after beaming her in the head with the wheels from our umbrella stroller upon arrival. But Parker--he did great!
I haven't exactly been nauseous beyond that week when I was really sick, but psychosomatically ever since I found out I was pregnant I have felt strange. I took an hour long nap before leaving the house this afternoon and I never do that. I had no stomach for lunch, although I ate raw fruit and carrot sticks after the graduation ceremony with no problem. I feel like there is evidence of life in there, including the fact that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom twice during the ceremony.
Maybe I'll feel good through my first trimester this time. We'll just have to wait and see.
I haven't exactly been nauseous beyond that week when I was really sick, but psychosomatically ever since I found out I was pregnant I have felt strange. I took an hour long nap before leaving the house this afternoon and I never do that. I had no stomach for lunch, although I ate raw fruit and carrot sticks after the graduation ceremony with no problem. I feel like there is evidence of life in there, including the fact that I had to excuse myself to the bathroom twice during the ceremony.
Maybe I'll feel good through my first trimester this time. We'll just have to wait and see.
Funny Little Worries of Expectation
It's funny how much more worried I am about my pregnancy this time around. Last time I remember only being thrilled--concerned about finishing my education, of course, but still thrilled. I'm thrilled this time too, its just that the first time I didn't know much of what was going on, besides which I think we detected the pregnancy when Parker was already several weeks further along. I'm worried that we'll go in at the end of the month for the first ultrasound and not be able to detect a heartbeat. I'm worried that there might not really be a baby in there.
I was thinking about this in the shower this morning. The fact that we'll be bringing another child into this world in nine (make that eight) months is God's choice, not ours. That means that if anything happens to this baby it will be God's choice as well. We as followers of Christ have chosen to accept whatever comes to us from His hand, whether pleasant or unpleasant. There are all kinds of rational reasons why this sort of argument is offensive. Ayn Rand, who I'm reading right now, would certainly not be pleased. But that's where we are. Michael is the one who has reminded me of this ever since we found the promise of what is to be.
Of course after writing this down I have one more thing to worry about: if I say I have faith it almost follows that that faith will be tested. Sometimes it's a curse to know too much about how the world tends to work. Dare I even publish this?
I dare.
I was thinking about this in the shower this morning. The fact that we'll be bringing another child into this world in nine (make that eight) months is God's choice, not ours. That means that if anything happens to this baby it will be God's choice as well. We as followers of Christ have chosen to accept whatever comes to us from His hand, whether pleasant or unpleasant. There are all kinds of rational reasons why this sort of argument is offensive. Ayn Rand, who I'm reading right now, would certainly not be pleased. But that's where we are. Michael is the one who has reminded me of this ever since we found the promise of what is to be.
Of course after writing this down I have one more thing to worry about: if I say I have faith it almost follows that that faith will be tested. Sometimes it's a curse to know too much about how the world tends to work. Dare I even publish this?
I dare.
You'll Know You're Pregnant If...
I'm so tired. I was composing in my head as we drove home this evening, but now I don't remember what I was going to say. Blame it on "mommy-brain." How about this:
You know you're pregnant if ...
the thought of visiting the bank to close that account that's needlessly costing you $9.00 a month fills you with dread. Okay, that one may be only me.
You know you're pregnant if ...
you drop socks on the floor every time you take a step toward getting the laundry done. That one might be only me as well.
You know you're pregnant if ...
reading about "elimination patterns" in the new mommy literature causes you to burst into tears.
You know you're pregnant if ...
the sight of your brother graduating from college also causes you to burst into tears. Those were some serious tears, just ask my husband.
By the way, Little House on the Prairie is NOT pregnancy friendly programming. When a pregnant Laura collapsed from exhaustion and possible heat stroke in the episode we saw last night it was quite alarming. That doesn't mean that we'll stop watching it, though.
You know you're pregnant if ...
the thought of visiting the bank to close that account that's needlessly costing you $9.00 a month fills you with dread. Okay, that one may be only me.
You know you're pregnant if ...
you drop socks on the floor every time you take a step toward getting the laundry done. That one might be only me as well.
You know you're pregnant if ...
reading about "elimination patterns" in the new mommy literature causes you to burst into tears.
You know you're pregnant if ...
the sight of your brother graduating from college also causes you to burst into tears. Those were some serious tears, just ask my husband.
By the way, Little House on the Prairie is NOT pregnancy friendly programming. When a pregnant Laura collapsed from exhaustion and possible heat stroke in the episode we saw last night it was quite alarming. That doesn't mean that we'll stop watching it, though.
Life With Parker is Always an Educational Experience
Yesterday morning, I'm told, my mother called to Parker where he was doing something in her bathroom. He responded with something sounding very much like a frustrated "Just a minute!"
Sometimes Parker wanders around here on a path of destruction. For instance, this morning I learned how to put one of those cardboard DVD cases back together, because Parker had figured out how to take it apart.
One day last week I was so proud of Parker. He loves books; as with everything else, I think he likes to see how they are put together. Sometimes I find him taking my books down off the bottom shelf in the living room and examining their pages and bindings. He likes to remove the dust jackets, and I think he is drawn to the ones with pictures. Last week he took a couple of books down off the shelf, but then put them back on the shelf when he was done. Soul Survivor's dust jacket is crammed in behind the actual book, but I am so please to see that he knows where they belong.
Sometimes Parker wanders around here on a path of destruction. For instance, this morning I learned how to put one of those cardboard DVD cases back together, because Parker had figured out how to take it apart.
One day last week I was so proud of Parker. He loves books; as with everything else, I think he likes to see how they are put together. Sometimes I find him taking my books down off the bottom shelf in the living room and examining their pages and bindings. He likes to remove the dust jackets, and I think he is drawn to the ones with pictures. Last week he took a couple of books down off the shelf, but then put them back on the shelf when he was done. Soul Survivor's dust jacket is crammed in behind the actual book, but I am so please to see that he knows where they belong.
Friday, May 9, 2008
I Have a Secret...
...but it isn't really a secret. There were so many people I wanted to call and tell in person, but I couldn't call all of them for various reasons, and since this is the type of news that has to be shared...
Michael and I are going to have another baby. Parker is going to be a big brother.
If you're my friend and I haven't called you yet please know that I really wanted to call you.
I went in to the Drs. office this morning to have a test done. Since they were already in the midst of a new mommies class they gave me the option to be processed immediately. I've had quantities of blood drawn this morning and I've been thoroughly oriented to the hospital once again. Parker ran around the lobby of the Drs. office like a mad man. It's early yet. I'm probably only something like five weeks along so we have a really long way to go.
I am so excited I just can't stand it.
Michael and I are going to have another baby. Parker is going to be a big brother.
If you're my friend and I haven't called you yet please know that I really wanted to call you.
I went in to the Drs. office this morning to have a test done. Since they were already in the midst of a new mommies class they gave me the option to be processed immediately. I've had quantities of blood drawn this morning and I've been thoroughly oriented to the hospital once again. Parker ran around the lobby of the Drs. office like a mad man. It's early yet. I'm probably only something like five weeks along so we have a really long way to go.
I am so excited I just can't stand it.
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Trials of Technology and Children
Parker frustrated me just now when he turned my computer off in the midst of my typing. Some ideas on Pierre Bayard's book were finally coming together and I had made all sorts of changes to what I had already written, when access to blogger was broken.
How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read--Even If You Have No Intention of Ever Reading Them
A couple of weeks ago, instead of going to church, I fell asleep on the sofa finishing How to Talk About Books You Haven't Read by Pierre Bayard. Jamey, who was with me when I discovered the book at Barnes & Noble a couple of weeks ago, will be glad to know that the public library did have it.
The book was accessible, amusing, snide. I finished it in a matter of days in spite of illness.
The point of the entire book seems to be that the efficacy and value of reading is questionable. As a matter of fact writing seems to be the only worthwhile activity with respect to books, in which case it is not the production of literature that matters, but rather the production of criticism, said criticism being of value only when its writing is divorced from any reference to literature whatsoever.
Bayard argues that when we talk about books we are never discussing them as they exist, but instead we discuss an imaginary approximation of the text. Thus we may discuss literature even more accurately if we have in fact failed to read the text in question.
It's so difficult to know what Bayard is really saying. Either he is discussing something he considers to be the ideal, or he is ironically discussing the reality of criticism as though it were the ideal, if only we could perfect it. The proof of the ironic nature of his discussion seemed to be his use of Oscar Wilde to make his point. In my experience, meagre as it may be, Oscar Wilde is an author who can never be understood unless the reader reads between the lines. In other words, he will never directly say what he means--it is up to the audience to interpret what isn't there.
Bayard allows me to say definitive things about Oscar Wilde, whether I have any experience with him or not.
The book was accessible, amusing, snide. I finished it in a matter of days in spite of illness.
The point of the entire book seems to be that the efficacy and value of reading is questionable. As a matter of fact writing seems to be the only worthwhile activity with respect to books, in which case it is not the production of literature that matters, but rather the production of criticism, said criticism being of value only when its writing is divorced from any reference to literature whatsoever.
Bayard argues that when we talk about books we are never discussing them as they exist, but instead we discuss an imaginary approximation of the text. Thus we may discuss literature even more accurately if we have in fact failed to read the text in question.
It's so difficult to know what Bayard is really saying. Either he is discussing something he considers to be the ideal, or he is ironically discussing the reality of criticism as though it were the ideal, if only we could perfect it. The proof of the ironic nature of his discussion seemed to be his use of Oscar Wilde to make his point. In my experience, meagre as it may be, Oscar Wilde is an author who can never be understood unless the reader reads between the lines. In other words, he will never directly say what he means--it is up to the audience to interpret what isn't there.
Bayard allows me to say definitive things about Oscar Wilde, whether I have any experience with him or not.
Why is Organization So Much More Difficult Than Imagination Suggests?
I decided to work on the linen closet in our bathroom while Parker slept this morning. It isn't a dedicated linen closet because it is the only closed storage in our bathroom. Therefore it functions as linen closet, supply closet and medicine cabinet. All the books and organizational experts tell you to take one shelf at a time. Unfortunately, taking one shelf at a time isn't very practical because virtually everything in the closet has to be shifted. My mom did a good job of setting up the closet initially, but over eleven months its organization has become ineffective. Besides which I currently have cleaning supplies sitting out where I can see them, out of Parker's reach, but still in the way. I'm about halfway through, but what I've done so far doesn't work as well as I had hoped. I'm left with a disassembled bathroom.
I don't know whether there is room between the closed door and the shelves, but I've seen illustrated some sort of door mounted contraption that holds hair supplies (hair dryer, curling iron, etc.) Does anyone know where I could find such a thing? My ideal shelf would have a convenient shelf or drawer for arranging makeup, and a couple of holes for round brushes.
I don't know whether there is room between the closed door and the shelves, but I've seen illustrated some sort of door mounted contraption that holds hair supplies (hair dryer, curling iron, etc.) Does anyone know where I could find such a thing? My ideal shelf would have a convenient shelf or drawer for arranging makeup, and a couple of holes for round brushes.
Corrective Action Needed
I am absolutely terrible at following through on things.
Friends have made offers I have unintentionally ignored. One has offered to drive me anywhere I need to go, but I am so homey I have never asked her to drive me anywhere. I thought of one last Saturday, that I should call her and ask her to meet me for coffee, but it was so last minute I discarded the idea, thinking I might call her to set up something for the following week. Still I have not called. One has offered to come to my house and help me with my landscaping concerns, but I have not asked her. I asked another a long time ago to come to my house and tutor me on laundry matters, but months later I have never set a date. There are still other examples. If I do nothing to correct the problem it will become a serious liability.
I have on occasion invited Anna Grace to my house to play with Parker while I get some necessary tasks done. By the time she arrives I have usually decided that I don't feel much like doing them. We watch movies with Parker instead. It isn't that I'm lazy--I like to work, I just don't.
Friends have made offers I have unintentionally ignored. One has offered to drive me anywhere I need to go, but I am so homey I have never asked her to drive me anywhere. I thought of one last Saturday, that I should call her and ask her to meet me for coffee, but it was so last minute I discarded the idea, thinking I might call her to set up something for the following week. Still I have not called. One has offered to come to my house and help me with my landscaping concerns, but I have not asked her. I asked another a long time ago to come to my house and tutor me on laundry matters, but months later I have never set a date. There are still other examples. If I do nothing to correct the problem it will become a serious liability.
I have on occasion invited Anna Grace to my house to play with Parker while I get some necessary tasks done. By the time she arrives I have usually decided that I don't feel much like doing them. We watch movies with Parker instead. It isn't that I'm lazy--I like to work, I just don't.
I Consider It a Compliment...
Last Saturday I bought a bottle of white wine. The lady at the check-out asked to see my driver's license and she said,
"I didn't think you were that old."
"I didn't think you were that old."
Stop Me If You've Heard This One Already
It was the last day of kindergarten, and we were allowed to bring the unused supplies that we had purchased at the beginning of the year home with us. It was a light brown gum eraser, never used. It's edges were perfectly square, the shape of it rectangular. It was perfect, it was beautiful, and I was in love with it.
My father drove me home that day. Full of joy I said to him, "Look at this gum eraser."
"A gum eraser!" he exclaimed, sinking his teeth into it. I cried and cried.
When I buy a new book, if the quality of the paper and its formatting is good, I am awed by the perfection of its pages. The crisp angle of its corners is my delight. I am loathe to do anything that would mar the perfection of its cover.
After a book has been read, if its pages have become creased, its spine bent, or there are paper lines across its cover, a different sort of bedraggled beauty is revealed. Books that have been read by many have a different beauty of their own. Use is a good thing, creases and lines a mark of honor, because it means that an object's purposes have been fulfilled.
There is little worse than purposes unfulfilled.
My father drove me home that day. Full of joy I said to him, "Look at this gum eraser."
"A gum eraser!" he exclaimed, sinking his teeth into it. I cried and cried.
When I buy a new book, if the quality of the paper and its formatting is good, I am awed by the perfection of its pages. The crisp angle of its corners is my delight. I am loathe to do anything that would mar the perfection of its cover.
After a book has been read, if its pages have become creased, its spine bent, or there are paper lines across its cover, a different sort of bedraggled beauty is revealed. Books that have been read by many have a different beauty of their own. Use is a good thing, creases and lines a mark of honor, because it means that an object's purposes have been fulfilled.
There is little worse than purposes unfulfilled.
Pleas
How many times recently have I started to post something and then been held up? I couldn't say. I try to write a review and the words won't come, or at least I am unable to structure the ones that do. I start to put something in my journal, and I am interrupted four words in. I have anecdotes to relate, I have ideas in need of development, I have to be thinking of something all day and every day.
When I think about it I realize that the people who read this blog mostly care about what I have to say. They like seeing pictures of the baby. They are at least mildly curious about how my mind works, if only as a psychological study.
It is fearful, in a way, to think that sometimes I have nothing to say, if only because I am the sort of person who needs to have things to say. If I cannot let myself think for several minutes every day, then who the hell am I?--though I don't consider that the appropriate use of a curse, it is there because so much of my identity is tied up in what I can be persuaded about the quality of my intellect. And if I cannot write, how can I continue to believe that I can think.
The books that I read wash over me--some of the ideas in them absorb, but if I cannot put them into words or practice, what good are they? Sometimes I read only because I have to in order to live. That is why reading becomes more important than mopping the kitchen floor. That is why writing becomes water--bringer of life.
When I think about it I realize that the people who read this blog mostly care about what I have to say. They like seeing pictures of the baby. They are at least mildly curious about how my mind works, if only as a psychological study.
It is fearful, in a way, to think that sometimes I have nothing to say, if only because I am the sort of person who needs to have things to say. If I cannot let myself think for several minutes every day, then who the hell am I?--though I don't consider that the appropriate use of a curse, it is there because so much of my identity is tied up in what I can be persuaded about the quality of my intellect. And if I cannot write, how can I continue to believe that I can think.
The books that I read wash over me--some of the ideas in them absorb, but if I cannot put them into words or practice, what good are they? Sometimes I read only because I have to in order to live. That is why reading becomes more important than mopping the kitchen floor. That is why writing becomes water--bringer of life.
Sunday, May 4, 2008
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