Voice as Agency?

Every time I say I can't write right now, I feel like I'm whining, complaining...poor little me, I can't write. Maybe that's because I say it so often. Truth is, the ability to write comes and goes. I'll be "on" for a while...a whole month at a time, maybe. Sometimes even longer than that. And then the tap is turned, and even though there are thoughts, complaints, observations, clarities raging, there is no writing that can accommodate them. It isn't the thought that is lost. It is the voice. The thought is there, but the voice becomes choked into silence, and usually that silence comes because internal factors are in play. I think I've written here before about the idea that sickness sometimes indicates other, more secretive stresses, stresses you've kept hidden even from yourself. Maybe you get sick because you haven't been feeding your body properly, with rest and nourishment and exercise. Maybe you're sick because you're in conflict with your spouse and neither of you will unbend enough to retrieve your love and care for one another from the theoretical mist. Maybe you are sick because you want something specific from God that isn't as ultimately sustaining as what he has planned for you. I think my loss of voice is something similar to this. Or maybe I'm just tired. But I hope to retrieve my voice and soon.