I've been reading about work in
Elisabeth Elliot this morning, three articles in a row concerning an
area of my life in which I greatly struggle. I don't fully understand
the problem.
I have a bad habit of only doing as
much work as I feel like doing on any given day. And yet, in
principle, I like work. I like the idea of being productive, taking
care of my family, providing a pleasant and fun living environment,
doing paperwork for the church, assisting my husband. I like the idea
of getting down to the hard work of reading and writing, and going
after it with a will. When I had a job outside the home, I was up and
down out of my chair all the time, always looking for the next thing
I could do, the next way I could get a little exercise. So why is it
that I don't enjoy doing the work at home?
Meal planning is like paperwork. Going
to the grocery store is an outing which involves using my muscles to
move products from one location to another, stretching my legs as I
move from aisle to aisle, running with the cart exuberantly, and as
it happens, serving the parking attendants by moving my cart, and
other stray ones, to the appropriate cart receptacles is the part of
the outing I most enjoy, yet I hate going grocery shopping. I'll put
it off as many days as possible, until the milk runs out. In truth
there is no form of shopping that appeals to me more than any other,
though looking for books at the thrift store brings the best rewards.
Vacuuming doesn't please me, nor does
making dinner. Laundry can be enjoyable if I get it started early
enough in the day.
As I say, I don't understand what is
this problem I have with work? It isn't that domesticity is beneath
me, yet I experience mostly confusion when asked to help with
preparing or cleaning up food. I'd like to be energized by house
work. I'd like for my children to see it being done, to absorb the
making and execution of a schedule, the joy that can be had in
mastering an arduous task. I'd like to be more grateful for my work,
to do it as unto the Lord, to put my intellectual tasks in their
proper place, and progress in them, though not at the expense of the
housework. I'd like to enjoy those times when I am at my leisure
heartily and not with ennui. These times should be meaningful. I
should come to know my children through the time I spend with them.
Be ever mindful of, and curious about, my husband's interests and
concerns.
I should walk the dog in the morning. I
should worship the Lord at night.
I wish it would happen naturally. I
wish it wouldn't take so much work. What would be required for such a
momentous change to occur? How do you find the balance between
finding the modes of expression that are yours, and imposing the
discipline of the every day? How does one become good without also
becoming a perfectionist? How does one serve God properly and well?
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