Changes, Shifts, How Odd

I've been reading No More Mondays by Dan Miller and trying to take responsibility for my own life. Well, I've been taking responsibility for years. In fact I never haven't. How do you like that grammatical construction? Sometimes you just need a little coaching, and sometimes it's a matter of combining the right word with the right time. I don't understand why that is, but it is.

I've been receiving good advice for years. I've even been able to give myself some of it. What I have a hard time doing is receiving, not assenting. I can hear what you say; I can agree that you're right. That doesn't mean that I can actually implement it. It doesn't matter how practical the advice. It doesn't matter how badly I need it, or how much I agree that the advice is good. I have taken advice very badly over the years, but not in the way you might think.

So again I say, I've been reading No More Mondays by Dan Miller. Is there anything magical about Dan Miller? No. Does he have the answers to all of life's problems? No. Can I hear him better than I can hear anyone else? No.

But yesterday I asked myself, "What do you like about the way things are right now?" and "What don't you like about the way things are right now, today, right here?"

I like that I am writing. I like that I am continually thinking about how I might write something up or what I might talk about next. I like that I am taking it all more seriously--the movies, the television, the music, the conversations, the books, the games with my husband, and more, e.g. the things I do--and thinking about the meaning that all of these activities and experiences hold. I like that I begin to see a way to live more thoughtfully.

I like that my husband is home with me so much of the time. I like that we have gotten into something of a rhythm, where he gets to work on the projects that matter to him, and we spend large quantities of time together when he isn't working on those projects. I like that I have been able to participate in those projects, even if only to a limited extent. I like that we are beginning to be more unified than ever before.

I like that by the occasional happy accident I actually do get a good meal on the table. I like that I am understanding and enjoying more as I read the Old Testament early every morning, sometimes interspersing it with the New.

I don't like my lack of energy, my inability to exercise, the fact that I haven't been blocking out dedicated periods of time to give my full attention to the children. I don't like that my home is disorganized, and that I haven't managed to get on top of things, even though it has been my desire for a long, long time. These are things I can do something about.

I don't like that we have so little income. What I do like is how Dan Miller reminds me that this is now. It isn't forever. The fact that my husband is focusing on a project that springs from who he is, who God made him to be...that is a good thing. That's the way it ought to be, and we can wait for a good result. We are free to still wait because God has provided a way for us to do so through the miracle of a savings account that I wouldn't have thought could exist when we spent $6000 to buy a van several years ago. I like that writing is starting to become something I can do, because I'm doing it however imperfectly.

I hate reading self-help books, and as one reviewer of Dan Miller's book shared, the first seven chapters or so of this one are repetitive positive-thinking material that doesn't seem all that productive, but somehow through this coaching that would be oh-so-easy to ignore, my perspective is being subtly altered and cleared.

I think this is a God-thing.

(I hope to review Miller's book in greater detail sometime later, probably after I have finished it.)