To Be Completely Known

Would you be surprised to learn that I have trouble with the word relationship in the sense of what it has to do with what happens between me and God? We talked about this last week in a gathering of women, and while I had sympathy with the use of the word, I kinda sorta had questions about what they meant when they used it, and I had trouble bringing it up, in fact didn't bring it up because... I don't know why. Why couldn't I ask her the question, what do you really mean when you talk about the importance of the relationship? I'm not saying I dispute the appropriateness of the word, I just wish we could unpack it a little more.

I've even read about what it means to have a relationship with God recently, but I must not have been paying close attention, because I don't remember where it was or when or what was said.

When questions like this come up I tend to think that my experience with God must be entirely different from anyone else's. Then it strikes me that everyone's relationship with God is different from everyone else's, and that is one of the ideas that I have been grappling with ever since the Grace Church ladies beach retreat last summer. We make a mistake when we expect God to relate to us in exactly the same way that He has related in the past to someone else. God made each of us different. Of course there are similarities because there is similarity in every aspect of human experience, but sameness does not reign. There is a Psalm I read not long ago that I felt spoke to this:

O LORD, Thou hast searched me and known me.
Thou dost know when I sit down and when I rise up;
Thou dost understand my thought from afar.
Thou dost scrutinize my path and my lying down,
And art intimately acquainted with all my ways.
Even before there is a word on my tongue,
Behold, O LORD, Thou dost know it all.
Thou hast enclosed me behind and before,
And laid Thy hand upon me.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
It is too high, I cannot attain to it....

(Psalm 139: 1-6 NASB)

Why was I reading Psalm 139 at that time, whenever it was that I read it last? I can't figure out when it was because I haven't gotten to that one yet in the course of my morning readings, but I have thought of these words from the Psalm often because it was a comfort to me. God knows my thoughts and is acquainted with all my ways. This is the one that goes on to talk about how I was formed, and known before I was even born. It says the same about you.

I think the reason I often don't bring things like this up in a group is because I worry about needlessly complicating matters for someone who doesn't approach these things in the same way that I do.